:::another chapter

Thursday, September 28, 2006

infected, suffocation

u know that feeling of suffocation u get
the one that chokes your chest
the one that robs you of your breath?

yea, the one that's more deadly than venom,
the one that seeps into your blood, gets a hold of your system, and chokes you
it prevents you from moving on with what you have to do
it's like a lingering sting that never ceases to leave you

i thought i had the vaccine for it
thought i'd never land myself in such a state

no, im not giving you the credit for being poison's muse
it's not you, but the situation that's destructive

im way too old for these childish, mundane games
it irks me that some things are rather disturbing
like a cut with infection
an open wound covered with salt

ecrit ||2:08 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

For all those who failed history and need a crash course, check this out!

ecrit ||1:37 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

smiles

at dinner last night, a kid from the next table shouted to his friend, "you're smiling! means you're lying!" it then made me realize how much smiles mean. and it's like all of a sudden the little voice in my head starts talking to be about smiles... freaky, but that's what goes on inside.

a smile, sweet and simple. it uses much less energy to produce compared to a frown. yet it is probably the most infectious things around. it posesses tons of hidden meanings, and is different all the time. i never knew one smile could express so much, and at the same time hide so much.

everyone has several different types of smile. and it takes much detailed observation to notice the difference. i remember a scene from Win a Date with Tad Hamilton, where the lead actor describes the different types of smiles the girl he loved has. it was absolutely romantic, and definitely one of the sweetest things a guy can tell a girl. it's not that easy to tell smiles apart, yet every slight change carries with it many different meanings and emotions.

the smile u give when ure overjoyed and happy will be different from that when you're pleased. and it'll definitely differ from when u're trying to pretend to be happy. even if it's a slight change of emotion, it shows. Wikipedia states, "a smile is a facial expression formed by flexing muscles most notably near both ends of the mouth, but also around the eyes." thus a smile is not just about your lips, but also about how your eyes sparkle with joy.

smiles are also used to mask an array of emotions, especially fear. ever notice that when you're afraid, or nervous you'll tend to smile? that's because when you're experiencing fear, the muscles around your cheeks tend to freeze up, causing a smile.

others also use smile to mask their sadness or anger. everyone has been the girl with the broken smile at least once in their lifetime. and it's difficult to convince people that you're truly alright or truly happy when inside everything's a mess. some how smiling just don't cut out. u can know the way to smile, u can know it so well, but no matter how hard you try, it's just different. and your loved ones will be able to tell the difference.

i went through a stage where i learnt and studied how to perfect the art of putting up a fake smile. not that i wanted to be fake or anything, but just that every thing that was going on inside was too much to handle. so much so that if anyone was to have the slightest clue on what was going on, it'll go out of control. even i myself wanted to run away from myself. and one day, when i thought i really had perfected the art, it crashed. its so hard to keep everything in, yet now it's even harder to show the world ure happy. it's like how a duck struggles and paddles under a calm water surface. it sucked. im glad it's gone and i never want to have that again. perhaps ive reached a state where i can be so void of emotions that nothing bothers me anymore. perhaps everything is still inside. supressed and pushed back to my unconscious state of mind, just as Freud puts it. it's scary to even think about it, what more it's consequences.

it's all that much that one single smile can hide. it's like the wave of a magic wand, making everything seems perfect. but everyone knows nothing's perfect. we were born with emotions and feelings, yet some chose to be void of it. sometimes i question myself, am i really void of it? or am i just too afraid to face it? or maybe ive overcome it! i hope it's for the better whichever way it goes.

u know the silly question that u've been asked ever since you were young? the one that goes, "if you can wish for something, what would it be?" ever since i was little, ive always wanted everyone to be all smiley and happy, but 20 years of reality and it seems so impossible. maybe that's what heaven will be like, i can only dream and wonder.

i dont quite understand why some people are, in a way, so against people who are smiley and happy. like its a sin or some sort, that they think you're not serious, or they think you're brainless if you laugh too much. i feel sad for these people, perhaps they themselves need to learn to smile. or perhaps they've been so trapped but the pain that they forgot how to lighten up. come on, i mean, you've only got so much to live, so why brood over things that make you sad?! and even if you would like to stay all angsty and emo, don't short change many others who have a mor fufilling life than you.

smiles are miraculous. it brings warmth, comfort and assurance. yet it hides a multitude of fear, disgust, angst and even hurt.

ecrit ||1:56 AM 0 comments

Another Riesling at Glass Bar

i went for dental again today with dean. He didnt have problems.. i did. rah! i hate going for dental..hurts like crap. and i have a freakin low threshold for pain so yea.. was wincing away. i hope i don't have to do another root canal. one's painful enough. dental was at great world, so we killed time at the supermarket as daddy was late to pick us up again.. i kinda grew up there, so it was nice walking the aisle and finding cool stuff to get.

daddy was in an exeptionally good mood today..we has some zhicha for dinner at this vintage looking place, it has the huge windows and open air seating with those huge round reunion dinner tables. food was great.. and really cheap! we went to the supermarket near Clark Quay to get some grocery's after and bought like tons of stuff.. we got ice wine! yay!

we went for drinks at altivo's again.. this time was at Glass Bar. nice and cold! the late harvest riesling was out again.. so we had a slightly different one today.. by Brown Brothers. had tinge of orange in it..it was nice.. but i prefered the one from Canada. dean had the irish cream martini also. it was yummylicious! loved it! Glass Bar reminds me of Hong Kong, i don't quite know why though. We met the friendly waiter called Bob. Funky malay dude who could speak chinese and some other language. we all got so red again. and darn it i didnt bring my camera again.

tmr it's off to meet the designer for my new house. i dont think there will be much of a design though. dad wants the zen minimalistic look. darn.. but tt's still alright i guess. i hope! i saw this really pretty couch at Pluck though. victorian looking black couch. loved it! im still in the process of convincing..

ecrit ||12:49 AM 0 comments

Monday, September 25, 2006

school spirit

we decided to throw len a party last friday for her birthday. and we did it school style! so all of us had to dress up in our school uniforms for the party, which was kinda fun. just that serching for my old sch uniforms isnt the easiest!

i spent like 2 hours digging through boxes of old clothes i had put away, and i gave up finding my scgs ones. so i borrowed dean's ac barjer shirt.. which was HUGE! the only way was either to tie it up or put a bet and make it a shirt dress.. which i thought wa
s a pretty cool idea. but i went with the shorts and suspenders look with it instead..

len, belly and i!
yep.. decided to wear dean's ac barker top with my shorts and saylee's suspenders!

it was hilarious watching familiar faces stream in in their old sch uniforms.. and the quirky way they wore it.

len the birthday girl!

ms crescent!

mr fairfield!

pretty legs! daryl and marcus

the sji punks!

ms sajc?!
i really wonder why caleb seemed so happy..

mr. american school nickie!

us doing the traditional 'yum-seng' thing

Len: happy birthday dear girl! hope u had a blast! ure turly a blessing to all of us. i love ya babe!

belly: i love the chocolate cake! yummylicious!

ecrit ||1:37 AM 0 comments

the devil wears prada

ive been wanting to write bout this ever since i watched it.. which is like a month ago.. yea.. i caught it on the day of its release. it was a good show.. best one i watched that month. it was good for the fact that it was so real. it was also great partly because of the company i watched it with. to you, i miss you..

anyhow, i was remembered of the show just recently when one of my friends told me i reminded her of Anne Hathaway in that movie, during one of my photo shoots. i was quite shocked and i never realized that i was pretty much running around all the time. sometimes, im amazed by how much energy i have. ive sucessfully combed orchard road like hundreds of times! which i think is crazy! there was even a time when i could remember unit no. of shops and actual prices of items cuz i was working full time at Blu Inc. madness. but it was great fun.

one thing i never understood is that why every girl thinks it's such a cool job and it's all glam and high paying. yea its a cool job, thats if u have the passion for it and u love fashion. if not u'll hate it. im glad i don't. and the work is no where near glam. besides the press events and special perks.. it's hard work all the way. it's really the kinda job u marry your life to.

it has inspired me though.. to really wanna leave Singapore and move overseas to work.. always wanted to work for a mag at new york since really long ago.. but it seems really far fetched.. yea.. just another dream perhaps..

ecrit ||12:10 AM 0 comments

Monday, September 18, 2006

more of stinch penny..

5 aussie dudes that really rocked ben&jerry's. it was the first time we had a pseudo mosh pit at ben&jerry's. was absolutely crazy.. and infested with ij girls.. the screaming groupies.

it was chaos.. the guys performed at ij few days ealier so their entourage came along.. clearing up was madness.. also.. tons of cringing moments! esp when they screamed and went "stinch penny rocks!" it was a hair-standing moment. the other came not too long later when they did the 3 cheers for the guys.. it was absolutely EEEWWW! all of us were cringing behind the counter!

and one thing i dont get.. why do girls their age have to dress so skimply? we all suffered from haemorages after being exposed to a couple of but cracks and what nots.. but besides that the concert absolutely rocked! it was awesome! great energy and nice kick ass rock songs.i like zac's voice.. hot stuff. and it's cool to see how they prayed before performing..

after the performance it got crazier.. cuz their fans started taking photos with them and it was the first band we had with an autograph and photo taking session. it was crazy! pretty hilarious to see all the tenny boppers going razy after the guys.. and it was obviously superficial cuz they didnt know half the songs the guys were singing! the silence between the time zac said he was going to sing scientist, and before he added tt it was by cold play was hilairous! it's as if the girls were screaming on cue! i cant believe it.

so after the groupies cleared we got to chat with the guys a bit.. and they went crazy taking photos with us.. u should have seen the looks we got from their fans when the guys came to get photos with us. im sure we're pretty hated! haha.. it was all fun though.. nothing serious..we had fun with the crazy poses.. and im sure they had fun trying to scoop and pretend to be us!

zac !

in the dip case!

theo, cheryl and i!

zac looking hot in his specs..

me and zac' s specs!

a very happy tim!

mike and his own ice cream creation!

me and drummer jarred

jamie, claire and janet!

us, tk and stinch penny!

im sure we took tons more photos..but it's all in their cameras! guys, i want photos! =)

ecrit ||12:59 AM 0 comments

emerald hill no. 5

stepping back in time

late night drinks with sat and daryl.. nice place.. love the vintage decor.. nice, dirt cheap martinis as well.. love the peach martini..

the cherry stalk knot i tied with my tongue

me at the stairs

ecrit ||12:37 AM 0 comments

a little celebration sometime back...

it was dean's birthday.. last fri i think.. or was it 2 weeks back.. 8sept.. yea.. the little one's all grown up now. ok..so he was never little.. Dean: Happy 17th! stop playing rugby.. u'll just kill more brain cells! work hard, cuz u deserve better than u think you do. God Bless..

we had sichuan chilli crab for dinner.. yummylicious! nice and peaceful dinner.. i cant believe he's that big now.. and i think he's definitely more grown up than me.

us doing silly stuff at the stairs..

ecrit ||12:19 AM 0 comments

Friday, September 15, 2006

"Le coeur a ses raisons que la raison ne connaît pas."

The heart has reasons that reason does not recognize.

ecrit ||10:23 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

canvas

what if you're the only happy soul
watching the world spin around
seeing things pass you by
people looking so down
deep inside they all wanna cry

perhaps you're just the same as them
we're all in the same boat too
a boat that's not big enough to contain
a boat only big enough for you

you long for the rainbow after every storm
yet it's always shades of grey
it's impossible just being like the norm
God sure didn't make you that way

but who says you cant paint the sky
fill it with shades and hues
you're the artist with the paints and dyes
you're in control of the blues

so dont try so hard to fit in
when you know you were made to stand out
everything comes with a pinch of salt
it's only as serious as you think it would turn out

ecrit ||2:38 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

stinch penny

partly why work ROCKED on sat night was cuz of the really cool Australian band Stinch Penny. They were by far the best band tt played at ben&jerry's. nice rock music! loved it!

the band

yet again, my theory was proven right. all basist are cute.. well most are..

theo, shin and me!

rockin' it!

the 2 funky new babes, janet and claire

shin going crazy at the drums.

so besides getting awesome entertainment tt night, and chatting with the ban guys a bit... we got our very own K-box session! it was hilarious.. jason wanted us to try out singing for the scoopies bamd..so me and theo tried... and it ended up with everyone singing all the sappy love ballads which was really fuN! and there was absolutely no one mending the counter.. how fun can it get?!

ecrit ||1:56 AM 0 comments

the after party

Ms Seventeen Event

it was absollutely kick ass punk rock! ok.. at least the after party was.. everyone got high on the free drinks and matilda happily snapped away!

thorn amongst the roses?!

me! can't remember what i was doing either..

matilda, maybeline, licheng and ellen!

rocker chic matilda!

hot babe jessie!

kick-ass-rock-on!

us doing the act cute thing..

going crazy even after we left..help!

pure Zouk Legends!
yes they're climbing the zouk fence..

ecrit ||12:37 AM 0 comments

Sunday, September 10, 2006

im completely exhausted.. but i have to say this..work today ROCKED! i havent had so much fun since the hols with zhimei, cass, indy and all..

im gonna collapse and crash for now. more details soon..

ecrit ||2:54 AM 0 comments

Friday, September 08, 2006

familiar face in the crowd

a coincidence,
amidst the bustling crowd
nearly missed
but caught with a gentle tap

a smile
shy yet sweet
a pleasant suprised
i nearly missed

i never expect u'd come up and say hi
never thought such a coincidence would happen
a simple gesture
yet it put a smile on my face

coincidence flirts with reality
playful and mischievous

ecrit ||5:34 PM 0 comments

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

photos from mr. photo booth on my mac!