painful.. way too painful.. but now im relieved!

praise the lord! haha.. finally im done with my 103 term paper. man.. that was like 5 hours of painful typing and trying not to get distracted. finally finally FINALLY.. im DONE! ok..so it needs editing. but least the writing's done and im pleased. beyond pleased. now i can rest.. hehe..
ive never did so much reserach in my entire life la. yes..so some interesting facts i'll share:

• 57% of teens watch 2-3 hours of tv a day! how do u get that much time?!
• 66.7% of TV (channel 5) content in a week consists of American programs!
• prime time for teens is 6-10pm
• 78.6% of prime time TV (Channe5) consists of American programs!
• for monday it's 100% American TV programs! tt's crazy..

yes.. interesting facts. i never knew there was so much American content on Channel 5! anyway..now im beyond exhausted. exhausted but pleased.

and. oh ya.. guess what the stork brought to my mail!

YEP! my all access VIP pass to the fcuk fashion show/party at zouk this fri! yay! it just totally made angel's and my day! i hope it's fun.. well least tt's something to perk us up amidst all the sad boring mugging. i wonder where does the all access gets us to... hmm.. interesting!

and yes..it's still beyond exhaustion now.. so im off!

ecrit ||2:44 AM 0 comments

assume makes an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me'..

i can't believe what im hearing. for the love of god no freakin way. i dun get it why some people assume so much about things. like just cuz u dont fit into that little mould of what they think yo would be they think youre not yourself.. they think youre behaving strangely. idiots! argh.. makes my blood boil!

if ure mean and selfish.. people call u a bitch.. and if youre nice..people think youre up to something or u have some ulterior motive. like the whole entire world's gonna devour your tiny little ass. good lord! why is it so difficult to accept the fact that people can be genuinely nice without any strings attached?! sucks being nice now i tell you. u put in that exta effort to get things done and pple dont appreciate it and start to question and think. tell u.. thinking is bad bad BAD for u. u just get confuse yourself.

ok..now back to my term paper... damn..
ecrit ||7:26 PM 0 comments

ecrit ||12:22 PM 0 comments

relived.

met up with the nic, ben and the girls for lunch at Pasta Cafe. food was alright.. nothing special.. but portions were huge. great company made everything worth it. was fun reminiscing about sch and how much silly stuff went on... it's amazing how much shit guys share with one another in sch that girls don't know of. i never knew so much till yesterday. freaky. it's funny though. sa was one of my best times. loved it. still loving it. everyone's still as crazy as they were.

ben's signature pose. haha.. ure so gonna kill me for this too.

learning from the master?

len: most wanted hot babe..

nickie.. love his x-men shirt. he's one hell of a guy man.

so we got bored after lunch and i think boo came up with an outrageously crazy out-of-this world idea to go and take neoprints. so back then we used to take lots during the first 3 months, so call the in fad then. but now..it was like crazy.. cringly crazy. if there's such a word. i still cant believe we stepped into that 'pretty in tokyo' or whatever u call it place at cine where they blast japanese techno music and everything else was pink. i even started to wonder how did the people work there? and why so many teenage girls are so crazy over that machines. i mean hello.. what are digi cams for? so maybe it's all the screaming and hustling trying to squeeze the 6 of us into the small booth. man did our 'ah-lian' side came out. im still in disbelieve.

yes. and the girls thought it would be funny writing in 'ah-lian' language which was hilarious. i never ever knew 'i love u' was actually "i lub chu". how on earth do u see the link?! complete word transormation. haha.. and all the 'z' after every word. it was all fun till the weird glares we got when we walked out. haha. damn embarrassing perhaps the regulars there probably thought we were mad and uncool.. oh well.. it was a blast.

ecrit ||11:55 PM 0 comments

candy coloured life

another friday in school..

i never ever thought that i had to be back in sch on friday.. but now it's like im back almost every week. thank god consultation with govin was good. hopefully she'll help me up my grade.

then it was the roller coaster ride to hall16 for lunch in darren's car with the guys. FREAKY.. was really like a roller coaster with 4 guys and 3 girls in a tiny car. haha.. was fun though..

after which was like one of the longest project meetings ive ever had la.. dunno what on earth we were doing also.. hehe.. ok.think it was like writing the intro and lit review.. haha.. i was trying not to fall into my own world cuz the music was good and i was tired.. hehe.. pirate!! pls come online and send me the songs! i cant find all of them on limewire!..got a few cool songs from pirate.. made me happy..my ipod needs to eat too. it's been deprived of good food for too long..

we got bored and took some photos again..

pirate and his baby..

my girl..

playing with colours

me and my pirate!

i think im getting bored with the camera im using.. no nice effects.. i wanna get a new one soon.. must start to save money..

ecrit ||12:21 AM 0 comments

it worked! everything turned out ok. funny how things can change with just one moment...

The Magic Song - Cinderella

Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo
Put 'em together and what have you got
bippity-boppity-boo

Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo
It'll do magic believe it or not
bippity-boppity-boo

Salagadoola means mechicka booleroo
But the thingmabob that does the job is
bippity-boppity-boo

Salagadoola menchicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo
Put 'em together and what have you got
bippity-boppity bippity-boppity bippity-boppity-boo
ecrit ||10:18 PM 0 comments

im screwed.

today i actually experience what it's like to have work so hard for something and seeing it all go down the trash. so much for everything. there's nothing tt can be worse.. oh yes, wait there is. and i shant mention it. why is it so difficult for things to be ok? why is it that when u have so much faith that things will be ok it just doesnt? it's always so weird that the people who you dont know so well are those that actually do help u. even if ure fuming mad they still try to help. it's not that im freakin oversensitive, its just that people dont know how to be sensitive. it's not that im short tempered, it just means i stay angry for a shorter time. i really cant wait for the week to be over.

im tired from thinking so hard and reading so much into things.
im tired from feeling horrible.
im tried from crying.
im tired.


when will things turn around?
ecrit ||6:38 PM 0 comments

look! my new shorts!
ecrit ||9:40 AM 0 comments

i think we took plenty of photos cuz it was so difficult to please angel
ecrit ||9:40 AM 0 comments

all dressed up for some photoshoot for joanne's article
ecrit ||9:40 AM 0 comments

ecrit ||1:17 PM 0 comments

my baby. hehe.. man..why are u my girlfriend again?!
ecrit ||10:05 PM 0 comments

jon and sebas in god knows what's on him. goodness. what the hell were u thinking?! hiyo.. tut tut!my 2 darlings.. i dunno what i'll do without them.
ecrit ||10:04 PM 0 comments

kelly babe! one of the best chef i know!
ecrit ||10:03 PM 0 comments

crazy antics at The Tea Party after service. darlings kelly, jon and sebas.crazy crazy shit happened man. what happens at The Tea Party stays at The Tea Party.
ecrit ||10:02 PM 0 comments

spot the difference?! mm.. is darren having a nice dream? hehe.. thought these 2 shots were funny.
ecrit ||10:01 PM 0 comments

the brilliant idea- chair race round cs. ye.. if u look closely deep in the far end you'll see guang and shaun on roller chairs getting ready for the race to start. it was hillarious man. if only i knew how to stream the vid..it's kinda troublesome actually. but they look just like what the 'mtv whatever things' crew will do. madness.
ecrit ||10:00 PM 0 comments

the makings of a brilliant idea.. think think think.. justin, ben/benderrik/ronng jun, shaun and pirate/guang zheng.
ecrit ||9:58 PM 0 comments

stuck in the hole i dug and can't get out of it

i just dont get how things always have such a weird twisted sort of ending, or rather it turns around and spirals at the worst timing. i thought things were going pretty ok. i mean dispite the stress and all. but i never knew it was this bad. not till today. maybe im just oblivious to what's going on around me, maybe i just dont care. too sick to care anyway. but it hits worse this way. now im just stuck where i am. cant move,i feel suffocated. feel like every single issue's just weighing me down like nobody's business. so what if i seem happy? i cant stand why i feel certain way sometimes. dun even know why or for whatever reason i feel like that. many many weird feelings. i dun wanna hurt anyone. dun wanna get hurt either. the more i mellow in this hole the more it seems to get worse. no self pity what so ever. just wanna get out.

d, if u read this, im really sorry. really didnt mean the things i did. hope i didnt screw anything up. i feel horrible enough. im sorry.
angel, thanks for tolerating so much nonsense from me. u have the right to make my ears bleed anytime. i love u girls.

man.. this sounds more and more like a suicide not or some sort. why why why?! i just have too much ramblings and crap going on.
ecrit ||12:41 AM 0 comments

shades!
ecrit ||11:20 PM 0 comments

happily escaping to town!
ecrit ||11:15 PM 0 comments

D! in her pretty strawberry print top!
ecrit ||11:15 PM 0 comments

ecrit ||11:28 PM 0 comments

ecrit ||10:59 PM 0 comments

us at dinner (zhuo bernie nic and ben)
ecrit ||8:17 AM 0 comments

making the monday blues go away..
ecrit ||8:17 AM 0 comments

ben and me! *ben.. if ure reading this.. u know how many funny photos of u in this pose i have?!
ecrit ||8:16 AM 0 comments

girls at Essential Brews
ecrit ||8:16 AM 0 comments

punks.. wannabe?! hehe
ecrit ||8:15 AM 0 comments

had to take it without the flash so he wont swear.. =)
ecrit ||8:15 AM 0 comments

all hail ben the king.. rite.. and his self-proclaimed 'throne'
ecrit ||8:14 AM 0 comments

nickie.. who swears everytime the flash goes of..
ecrit ||8:13 AM 0 comments

boys will be boys- fussing over girls in cleo
ecrit ||8:12 AM 0 comments

mexican at Cha Cha Cha's

i had to drag myself out of the house today to meet nic, ben zhuo and bernie for dinner. so called class gathering. but it turned out to be great! guys were full of shit as usual. bernie wanted her 'fried mice' (fried jalepenos) at Cha Cha Cha's so we decided to go Mexican! food was yummy! we had some wrap thing.. cant remember how to spell it which was really delicious. service was pretty sucky though... yep.. service in singapore aint good at all.but good food and good company=GREAT Time!

then it was off to Essential Brews for drinks and dessert. ben and nic went all crazy over Battle Royal and started to tell us the whole gruesome, grotesque story about how people kill one another or otherwise self-destruct. i guess boys will be boys and army boys will be army boys with their non-stop facination over girls. all was great fun! i miss nic and ben! full of their own nonsense!

ecrit ||8:05 AM 0 comments

crazy chillin mayhem at my place

lazy monday afternoon. sun's great for a tann or swim. craps angel didnt bring her bikini. so we just bum around and watch the shows i downloaded. think the heat got into our heads and we started to crack up at the slightest thing.

anyway..i still cant figure why. it's getting to me. argh. help!

the flow chart i drew for angel during lect!

me and my happy robe!

think i was just too tired to move.

angel's seductive pose.. hehheh..maybe she misses the toilet ogl shots..

*think youre gonna kill me for this but RAH! haha..

ecrit ||1:34 AM 2 comments

me, my pirate, jingli and angel

crazy over stacks new water!

we got bored waiting for the crowd to stream in so the camera entertained us! sneaked to the library to shoot some too! and of course the supply of new water tt was piled up on the bench. what better props.

ben, guangzheng, jingli, sayheng, rongshan, angel and i. didnt manage to get photos of the rest. should have taken at the booth too.craps.

ecrit ||12:09 AM 0 comments

damn.. it has not gone away...

ntu open house. i've never in my life stayed in sch for such a long period of time. actually was there from 9-5! which is absolutely madness. plus it's a saturday. my first ever saturday in NTU! good lord.. what on earth was i thinking. haha.. but it was fun.. least when the people started coming in.and no, not the answering th same question a million times part too. thank god for the macs breakfast. i would have died. didnt know we we'rent given breaks. but surprisingly i got full on 1 currypuff and 1 nugget! amazing.. there were so many weird pple. ALL sorts of people. it's fun people watching. i like! oh and we also visited all the secret cool hidden places in our sch building for the first time. places i never knew existed and doors i thought opened to store rooms were actually the studios and all. awesome. new things always facinate me.

so i learnt something new today. that people actually read my blog. freaky. dun even know how the add got out but yea.. probably links and all. angel said i should get the counter thing. hmm.. cool.. sounds interesting..im sad that i dun have time to take nicer arty farty pictures anymore. used to have a lot in my old blog. waa..now it's mainly of angel. hah.. cuz she's probably the only one who loves to take. haha.. we happily amused ourselves with the camera today. least tt was entertainment and a time filler.
ANGEL.. I want the pictures we took! come online and don't sleep so early!

anyway.. it's too early now for my late night ramblings. so yea..till later!
ecrit ||11:30 PM 0 comments

i think the madness is subsiding. at least i hope it is. well..we'll see tmr.

another sleepless night.. and i have to be in sch at 9 tmr. gonna be dead. late night nonsense sure makes you feel complicated. whatever happened to the simple minded girl that i was? the one who thought that if she was happy she could make people around her happy? the one who believed that she could make the most impossible thing possible and gets away with it all the time? why do these crappy things cloud my mind every night. i wonder how many brain cells have died thinking of them. it's getting on my nerves. how can someone want 2 things at the same time? and 2 things that are completely opposite of the other. cant figure why. dun think i'll ever.
ecrit ||1:42 AM 0 comments

i think someone should come clang my head really really hard.

slipping slipping.. into the big hole i've dug for myself. sometimes it's good not to see you, so it would not be so much of a pain trying to not feel like im doing something wrong, and to get you off my mind. i don't even know why things seem like that for a start. it all happened.. because.. man i really dont know. perhaps it's just cuz of my freakin weird dream. well your subconscience knows way more stuff than you do. but the temporal rush is good. well for now it is. maybe i'll just wake up one day and stop dreaming. but for once school seems like it's worth going for. maybe it's just the stress flirting with the adrenalin that's causing all these. perhaps it's just me, or perhaps it's you. i can even bet my life you wouldnt even know a clue. the secret's safe with me. i need the 3 months break to come real soon, but somehow i don't want it to come either.

i think im just rambling nonsense. sleep deprivation does this to you.
ecrit ||11:38 PM 0 comments

i really should be studying my french now.

im distracted. way too easily distracted. even by the slightest thing. but this time it's different. i cant really describe how i feel. in 2 words it would be- depressingly confused. sad to say im always confused. i dunno why. i just feel as if there's this entire weight on my chest that i need to get off. i feel so suffocated by all my thoughts and messed up feelings. emotional roller coasters are never a thrill for me. guess neither is it for anyone else for that matter. i just keep thinking why things turn out to be this way. why i just had to choose the difficult path. maybe if i bear with the pain now things would be smooth later? gotta stop deluding myself.

funny how it seems that so many people masks how they actually feel. wish i would come up with a smart invention that can reveal how everyone feels. now that'll be way cool. but impossible. i'd probably not go on a day without it too. neither can u. everything keeps piling up. work, stress, unwanted stress, confusion, and especially vague mental images of u that keeps on falshing. cant seem to understand why. but it keeps coming. and it's driving me crazy.

perhaps the whole 'butterfly effect' theory has it's credit. that such a slight insignificant action can trigger something so big. dont u know, cant you see what ure doing to me? again, emotional rollercoasters never work for me. i thrive on adrenalin. that emotional high that keeps that smile up, and keeps the laughter coming. i guess im pretty much an addcit now. cant help it, so feed me.

damn it's additive.
ecrit ||11:59 PM 0 comments

my zara kid's sailor top! man.. now i like it.
ecrit ||12:32 AM 0 comments

adieu to ben&jerry's and chloe dresses...

havent blogged in pretty some time. this term kinda sux. things not turning too good. things change. people change. harsh reality. whether u like it or not. im tired. tired of alot of things. wonder when can my break come. when i can be happy. the slightest things/gesture can make me day. i just want that feeling to last. gotta find that spark back. cheap thrills dont last.


oh btw.. congrats Angel..my girl got lucky. guess i would probably be the one dying an old maid now. so much for the whining. i've got nothing much to say bout it though. just shocked that it was pretty damn freakin fast. but oh well..u're happy so im happy, and the world's happy too. so yea.. ive got nothing to say...oh yes.. please send me the photos.
ecrit ||12:05 AM 1 comments

friday.

i had to go all the way back to sch. just for project meeting! but amazingly school turned out that every single minute was worth it. we had fun taking photos with D! and laughing at silly stuff again..man. why do simple things make my day so easily?!

freaky. and my weird WEIRD 'likes' in the Weirdest things. goodness. i think it's either i need someone to come clang my head really hard or nature has the most non-logical way of making ur heart race and producing endorphins. i think i really do need someone to come in and really rock my world.

the return of photo-whoring!

guess we kinda got bored of project meeting..

love the reflection!

the pirate's nail-less toe! poor guy had to perform toe surgery on himself..hehe.. watching too much House huh?! pic looks GROSS..haha.. tt's why it's so small..

ecrit ||11:57 PM 0 comments

||le discours||