raspberry pink

2007-11-30T18:10:00.000+08:00

I've MOVED!!!
yep yep. everyone needs a blank canvas every now and then!
find me at paperaeroplanes
pls pls update your links! Thanks!

2007-11-18T04:13:00.000+08:00

i saw this again at fred flare! and i really want it for christmas!!! :(

2007-11-16T02:14:00.000+08:00

reduced to the pages of a love novel

first week of hell was over. im glad. somehow everything seems to me moving on. and i feel like im trapped in this stand still. perhaps it's just called having exams. time doesnt play a person better than this. its always at the worst time that all your friends seem to be having fun, people you love are back in S'pore (yes that's you theo!), and there's just so much you wanna do. but yet you can't cuz you have to sit on ur sorry little ass all day and mug the life outta you. i havent met a better player than time.

so a mini catch up sesh with shin and colin. alright i admit it's a rather odd combination. but so happen the birthday boy called and we happened to be round the corner. so why not?! it was pleasant. rather insightful. im still insisting on turning that love story into a film. dinner conversation surrounded around parties, booze, the usual and also settling down. particularly me. i've clearly lost track of how many times my friends or random people have asked me why am i not settled/or why am i not attached. and i know ive written about this countless times, enough to bore you to tears. but yet, after days and hours of starring into blank space i cant quite figure it out. perhaps i've wished so hard for my feelings to disappear that it has come true. i honestly dont think i know how to like a guy as of now. not that i dont want to. i dont know. or perhaps ive been lost somewhere along the paths of crossing my world into yours. so much so that as impossible as it seems, uncertainty births forth a kind of blind faith that causes an immobility to move forward. just like how Beckett puts it in Godot.

sometimes in the fantasy of my own little world where we rest on clouds and have pretty heels that do not bite your feet, i dream and wish for somewhat like a genie to answer all my doubts. and maybe make a wish or two come true. i remember clearly what one of my profs said during our first lecture in year one, "if your not attached by the time you hit year 4 in sch, you can kiss having a relationship goodbye in this line in the media industry." and as absurd as this sounds, it holds great truth and is rather scary. to me at least. no im not fretting or whatsoever.

ive realize ive come to a point that i cant be bothered about alot of things. perhaps it may seem that im enjoying my time living the fast life. if only you would have spent a little longer to understand people, im sure you'll see much more. right now i can't possibly think of anything else but to leave this place. ok maybe i dont know what i want. perhaps leaving is just some form of escapism that masks what i really want. perhaps i dont even know what i want. no. i do. but it always seems impossible.

i fear many things. of which consists of gore, blood, insects, old people and being 30 and not having anyone to share my joy with. i believe every girl in the right mind shares the same fear. i do not wish to be stuck alone. hey, who likes to be alone? even more do i not wish to have my so called love life reduced to the pages of a love novel, or a romantic comedy for that matter. i used to tell my ex that if i did write a book about us i'd strike it rich and be famous. it was so bizarre that till now im in shock at how the whole chapter unfolded. im glad it ended though. not that im a saddist or anything. but it's ended, burnt, sent to hell and kept locked there.

i feel like this book is running outta space, perhaps a misuse of the pages filled with too much random nonsense. random people, glowing twilights, loud music and spur of the moment fun. sometimes i really wish i had one. just one. i'd give all just to have one. one that i truly want. but who am i to demand?

it sounds as if my life's in rather bad shape now. perhaps lonely and quiet. unfortunately not quite. on the contrary its rather filled and noisy in fact. so much so that when silence hit it knocks me over. perhaps escaping into a world away from the world would deem the best solution amidst all this chaos. writing to be is not just blabbering or stating events of the day. its a form of release. an escape to throw everything out. and thank god for this failing memory of mine, it'll just be like a bad hangover. gone in the morning. i like this escape. sometimes i don't even know what im rambling about. see my thoughts are never in sequenced. just random. bits and pieces, drips and draps all over. it takes more than that to see the big picture.

many things have happened that appalled me. somehow the mind works in a way that it is unable to erase certain things that you experience. its ability to pick up on things and only registering it much later really throws you into the sea of thought. and now im pretty much lost in it. drowning perhaps. i always believe it aint that good to think so much. but somehow i cant help it. sometimes things just dont revolve just around you.sometimes its impossible to look someone in the eye the same way again. sometimes guessing just makes you the joke. its a game. 2 can play it. perhaps game itself has played you well.

lately it seems like the fresh smell of spring is arriving. a new beam of sunlight maybe. its all too crazy. i used to thing sweet and nice are boring. maybe not quite this time. perhaps sweet and nice just wants to come out to play this season.

this aint going nowhere. as usual.

2007-11-09T00:48:00.000+08:00

Halloween at Ben & Jerry's

dawn, myself, julian, jas, jason!

the party at zouk that followed was pretty crazy shit.

2007-11-07T19:20:00.000+08:00

Sundays are HAPPY days!

2 amazingly fun fleas coming up! i can't wait!

so, what you waiting for?!

2007-11-06T23:50:00.000+08:00

One Art

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day.  Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel.  None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch.  And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones.  And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

---Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied.  It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.


  -- Elizabeth Bishop

2007-11-06T22:17:00.000+08:00

ramble ramble,
im in trouble.
goodness, who am i trying to kid?!

i don't quite understand the way things work. things just couldnt have gotten any worse. i dont understand why i circum myself to such ridiculous situations. to be stuck in the middle, and not know how to act or what to do. perhaps it's just like existentialism, we really do wait for something to happen, so we can react to it. but the thing is, it has happened. and im lost and confused. i still can't quite figure you out. not a bit. perhaps im analyzing a little too much, perhaps i just need to know the other side of the story, or rather know how to play the game.

i really cant take this crap now. not at this very moment. i played with fire and got my fingers burnt. now its stinging and it hurts. but i cant seem to make it go away. i look at the fire, and its as if its starring right back at me with that smirk that says, "i told you so".

i guess it was a misjudgment on my part. dug myself yet another hole that i can't get out of. sometimes i wish i can just get away from everything for a moment. i know ive been saying this for quite a while now, sadly im still praying it'll happen. i wanna be able to breathe some fresh air, see new sights, experience new cultures. u know the feeling you get when u know u dont belong, and ure meant to be somehwhere else? it's almost bugging me forever. and occasionally i'd fall into this deep dark hole. and it bugs you.

writing this isnt liberating at all. its almost as if u were being stigmatized. for no apparent reason at all. somehow letting this out doesnt seem like its going anywhere.
what the heck.

i need some time alone.
some time where i can figure things out.
answer all the whys and hows.
i dont think i can take another one of this crap anymore.

2007-11-06T01:16:00.000+08:00

depressed derranged deluded

perhaps its the time of the month where people start to pms and have mood swings. perhaps its just me in a bad mood.

sadly no. i cant concentrate, can focus. i feel choked and on the brink of suffocation. oh the drama. i hate this mood/phase/whatever that im in. i want to get it out. i dont understand why it has to be this way. it's like being unable to pry a nail out from your hands after you've accidentally nail it in. it's like getting cut by the beach and the salt water touches the wound.

i can't quite figure this out. mixed signals, mind games all those shit. freak. i give up. seriously. i told myself its gonna be one last try. prayed about it even. but yet, it hurts after hearing that one line. the one line that can turn everything upside down. question all doubts, throw you off guard and what not. what the hell. sometimes i cant even imagine why im putting up with such shit. perhaps its the thick wall ive built around that's causing this void. but now it's cracked and from the inside, somewhat.

i ask myself why put myself through all these nonsense
why can't i seem to let go and walk away?

i wanna run away,
to a place where i can
leave these troubles at God's feet,
clear my mind and sort things out.

i wanna remove this heaviness that's choking me.
painting the silence with purity and joy once again.

2007-11-05T02:08:00.000+08:00

Menace at Pluck

we had a small celebration sorta thing at Pluck the weekend before the 31st. was pretty fun i'd say. ran around getting props and decor to do up the store. plus our so called costumes, special sundae with a suprise topping and photo booth!

the 2 posters for pluck,
my silly poem and the hand-drawn dracula by amelia!

prep prep, doing up the shop!
sabrina, amelia and myself!

heading home after a days work
its amazing how we still have the energy to cam whore in the cab! haha..
love this girl, always full of fun and suprises!

met up again on sat to get more props for the shop

and the actual saturday! complete with cob webs, spiders, and witch's hat!
jon the spartan warrior decided to drop by!

its pretty surprising how people rub off one another. simply put, it's like how one smile can spread to a hundred, a thousand and more. despite some stressful moments at the shop where i swear i was on the verge of idunnowhattodoorsaybutijustfeellikerunningout.. yea.. that's how u feel.. despite that, it's still fun. and its amazing how we all get along and do silly stuff! how these makes the night of work fun and not seem like work at all.

hell week in sch came and went. i'm pretty glad it was quick. staying up till 7am and sleeping an ave of 2-3hrs a day is really a killer. i dont understand why people circum ourselves to such misery. then again if you decide not to go with the norm, and just give up. u'll be in shit. why? why has education have to be so torturous and excruciating? sitting 3, 4 hours straight churning out a report on a certain company aint gonna leave such an impact come to think of it. but its as if we were ordered around like robots coming up with ads, reports, budget plan, media plan.. so much for learning being fun. but oh well, i have to admit some parts were fun.
now its down to exams. save me.

halloween at bnj was completely different and kinda crazy as well. lots of photos. i will post when i have the time.

2007-11-04T00:39:00.000+08:00

Dormant
this site's been pretty dead for quite some time now
perhaps i'll just let it die off and start proper again
lots of things have been going on and it's just too tiring and busy to write it all down.
so many things ive seen and crazy thoughts in my head once again. its becoming to saturated.

oh well.. 'tis the season! and i just can't wait!!
christmas just makes us all go warm and happy!

2007-10-23T00:30:00.000+08:00

silly things in a quaint little corer

when the nights get quiet at pluck.. the pictures will speak for themselves!

tea for 2?

and yep.. all the photos were taken by ourselves! cuz there's only 2 of us in the shop. love love this shoot! was fun! our very own editorial shoot!

something's brewing this weekend at Pluck!! come by for a big SURPRISE!!

2007-10-17T00:57:00.000+08:00

where were you while we were getting high

it was so freaking crazy last wed at zouk. ben & jerry's cathay outing was quite a success. even though it was only jon, dawn, julian, sam and myself. one hell of a night! like what nic said, "they've all never seen me so high" so yea. that's pretty much it. dawn's cell leader's wyane's birthday too, so we had tons of drinks. drinks at wine bar, drinks at members, ive never drank more. all thanks to dawn's friend daniel. who kept on buying drinks and jumping all around cuz he was so high. it was hilarious. all the weird concoctions started to spout out, jellyfish, appricot brandy, graveyard.. whatever. butterscotch shots and flaming are still the best!

by the time we hit the dance floor we were all too high to stand straight so it was pretty crazy. especially phuture. when ure high and jammed packed with loud music, everything goes haywire. seriously. and somehow everyone started falling down and laughing at everything. every wednesday night should be like this.

middle: the fantastic 3 + 1 (sam!)
bottom: wayne, melissa, polly, daniel, myself, sam and her friend!

bottom: birthday boy wayne! some really really icky shots that tasted like medicated oil, and the guys who were insane.
those were the shots tt killed evryone. and i don't even know what's tt!

love these girls!
polly sam and her friend jane!

party people at wine bar: julian polly me wayne sam & jane!

2007-10-14T17:11:00.001+08:00

Way Over III

things have been pretty good at pluck. well up till about last night. i wouldn't say absolutely fantastic, but still fun nonetheless. amelia's awesome! i still can't believe the countless number of silly ridiculous things we've done. and im still waiting for more photos.

i like this shot!
thanks to shaun!

pluckies sabrina and amelia

our gorgeous polaroid wall!

angels or devils?!

ms polly, who has now made it her second home! awesome!
the little boy who lives down the street and runs in and out of the shop all day.

mr boss adrian who seemed pleased with his meal
pluckies!
preparing for halloweeeeen!
and the little boy who was high on The Pippettes. kept dancing non-stop it was so funny!

more photos from mr photobooth, the great stress reliever. especially so if ure rushing your internship application deadline or grumpy after work.. or just plain bored..

2007-10-14T17:09:00.000+08:00

Way Over II

By the river

hanging out with jean, kieron yiming and gang after work.

2007-10-14T14:56:00.000+08:00

Way Over I:

Clap you hands if you want somemore

Beat!'s Anniversary at Home was great. nothing better than good music and crazy friends. good music takes pain away. and keeps you dancing, even if ur heels are killing you and u can't feel your feet. its amazing how everyone can be on this instant high when the right music comes on. nothing to hold you back, no insecurities, no worries whatsoever.

"Don't let the sun be the one to change you baby
I wanna learn how to love, if I'm to know
Cause I wanna go where the people go
Cause I'm forever lost"

kenneth and friends
dawn's and julian's first at Home

oh! and i found a new neighbor jonas!
who happily fell asleep somewhere.. it's hilarious!

2007-10-05T02:20:00.001+08:00

Max Breners with dawn

chocolate heaven some would say.. but it wasnt as good as i expected it to be. waffles were good though.

2007-09-30T23:08:00.000+08:00

because i love the way you dance with me

mambo on wed with the polly! omg.. someone became clubbergirl 88 already. whoo hoo.. met jon there too. and im suprised we only took a few photos that night.

jon the techno-cat.. or so he calls himself

My Second Home: 33 Haji Lane, Pluck

amazingly ive been spending most of my weekends there. least its fun! mending the shop alone on thursdat night was quite a pain, just so quiet.

met up with dawn again for lunch on fri, our usual, Toast. its been so long but we still cant get sick of the place. and we've been having craving for the wraps since monday! adrian joined us for a bit and after that it was off to our shopping! yep, i finally got my miu miu wallet! and loving it! i still want the coffer! or a nice marc jacobs wil be just as good.

town was boring as usual. nothing new and exciting so we ended up having some sweets at Canele. it's gonna be my new chill out tea place. the cakes are simply gorgeous! and tucked away at paragon where you hardly get the usual crowds. after which it was off to Pluck for work. there's a new shop at Haji Lane again! and it's cool. Polly bought a pretty dress! Haji Lane's starting to grow on me. somehow its always serene and homely there. people from the other shops are really friendly, so it's good!
dawn's making it her 2nd home too! hehe..ive always wanted to have a shop, if only i have the resources to buy it over. that'll be great. seriously.

dawn polly tan and me!
haha.. girl, ure like the sister i never had!

us and amelia!

jihan, the adorable little boy who keeps running in and out of the shop
it's really not easy to say no so such an innocent face

crazy things and usual ways

fri night was spent playing THE IMPOSSIBLE QUIZ at the shop, which was insane. and then we got bored. and started waving at random people walking across. it was so quiet till bout 930 when this huge group of people suddenly came in, and ive never seen Pluck THAT crowded before. the guys came down to close the shop, and we went for teochew porridge before heading down to zouk!

friday night zouk with kieron and yiming was rather insane. had a few shots, and somehow it just went straight to my head. so.. it got a little crazy on the dance floor. somehow everything was funny! one thing i learnt is that looks are deceiving. the more decent you look the wilder you are. seriously. i loved the butterscotch shots! really have to open a bottle the next time i go.

2007-09-30T02:13:00.001+08:00

as instant as Polaroids

the usual tuesday meeting at bnj. this weeks one was pissing the hell outta everyone. so no comments. but we took polaroids so yay!

jas!

poor jon who was so super stressed out from his essay

Fantastic 4-1 and 2+1s!
haniza, dawn polly aka invisible girl, jon aka mr silverfishwafflemachineman, me(i dunno what's my power! haha) and jas!

sam the new hot babe!
latest addition to the cathay team! love this girl! just as crazy as us! yay!

jas

fantastic 4 + 1

and i dug up some old polaroids from way way back. so here's the blast from the past!

ice cream polly and the banana

sharon!
have fun in bangkok yea?!

the girls and VJ Utt
this was at Cafe del Mar on Jon's birthday
brian's friend nicole and cheryl sarah

2007-09-28T11:04:00.000+08:00

I want this!!! fred flare.com has too many pretty stuff at crazy prices!!!!
anyone feeling generous?!! :)

2007-09-28T02:36:00.000+08:00

flirting with the storm

it was pretty amazing how awake i was today after all the partying last night. my first day alone at Pluck today. well not quite i would say.Mr Boss Adrian came to open the shop, so had lunch with him. which means sharing food. somehow i dont get why he's into the whole sharing thing. its funny. but yay for a healthy lunch. thank god it wasnt the typical charbeehoon or whatever oily packed food that is commonly known as 'lunch' to the general population. cold pasta and garden greens were great. pasta was good.

so after, i was pretty much alone in the shop. until shaun came by to hang around. um.. ya.. i has nachos! so yay! azy, sam, vincent and justin came by to deliver the zouk flyers. so so glad i could sit and chat the afternoon away with them. UNLIKE TUESDAY! omg. tuesday still pisses me off oh well. it was hilarious hearing stories of weird pple working in the entertainment industry. for that moment, it didnt felt like work at all! awesome. if only work could be like that. the rest of the day was spent running around trying to entertain the kids living down the road that kept running in and out of the shop. i felt like a baby sitter. and they kept asking for things, and you know how difficult it is to say no to the pair of cute innocent eyes starring at you. so i struggled and gave the dear my packet of nachos.

after mr boss came to pass me the keys and left, it got a but freaky. i dont know why. perhaps it was the dark skies and quietness of the street. closing up alone was quite scary. i was certain i heard some weird ass sound/music, which i am still convincing myself it was my imagination while closing up. and damn i had to call to ask how to arm the shop before i could leave. i was this close to running out of the shop actually. i just dont like being alone. bahhh. thank god today's gonna be the first and last. seriously seriously.

there was something magical about the weather today. since the moment i woke up, it didnt quite feel like singapore. grey skies, cool breeze and thick clouds. im totally loving it!

2007-09-28T02:24:00.000+08:00

all about the chase

zouk was madness as usual. only this time it was crazily fun with dawn and ele! its so so so rare that ms polly goes to zouk! omg! maybe i can go buy 4-D. company was great. the girls plus kenny, ian and friends, and jean and kieron and yiming. madness. phuture was disgustingly packed. sardined to the brim with sweaty bodies. week after week i tell myself im never going back in yet i always get dragged and stuck in there struggling and fighting to get out. it's crazy as hell. really sad that the music was good. andrew chow's predictably good.

so it was mambo. and the drinks really went straight up to my head real quick. probably because i didnt really eat alot for dinner. it was really funny watching how everyone's so lost in following the mambo king do his moves. supper at spize later on then it was back to crash. relatively a good night, but lacked the spontaneous crazy randomness that used to happen.

i could use a crazy getaway soon..

2007-09-24T00:17:00.000+08:00

some thing to check out if ure bored, or if u need some inspiration: Jackson Pollock

2007-09-23T03:54:00.000+08:00

throwing away tiffany's

i dunno what's wrong today. perhaps it was the lack of sleep, or getting up on the wrong side of the bed. i was feeling super restless and cranky the whole day! horrible.

i swear the bloody tiffany's ring is cursed. everytime i wear it i'll be all moody and cranky. i don't understand why i circum myself to such torture, of replaying the overly exaggerated mellow drama in my mind over and over again. to allow myself to feel what its like to be so stubborn and shoot myself in the foot by not giving up on you earlier, to experience that fould taste of regret that i should have been smarter. i absolutely hate it.

everything just seem to be dampen by the restlessness. maybe its because im so sick of people asking me the same question over and over again: "dea, why don't you have a boyfriend?" excuse me, do i look like a so fucking know the answer?! if i do i wont be single right?! tel me who doesnt want someone to love them?! it irks me whenever i get asked that. and i get it ALOT. why?! would someone please just explain it to me already.. im perfectly happy the way i am now anway. not that im in any need of a guy, but no one in the right mind would choose not to have someone love them. seriously. god made more than one man so we could love one another. love makes the world go round. cliche, but its true.

so its goodbye tiffany's.

things weren't so bad thanks to amelia!! crazy girl who makes me laugh! at least i have someone to play with and do stupid things with! yay!

 artsy babe amelia

work at pluck has been pretty alright. the girls are nice, and lets just say there are both good and bad times. its nice when everyone's around and just hanging out. but certain things just makes me think twice about staying. i absolutely hate HATE being bossed around. is it that difficult to just ask/tell me nicely?! so what if uve worked there way longer than i am?! and we are only humans, i cant guarantee that i can be on time ALL  THE TIME! it aint my fault if the freakin taxi doesnt aye! yes.. i am still pissed about that. probably because i am very very particular when it comes to work and being professional on the job. i do not take things for granted, neither so i like to slack off and get paid. its called a job for a reason. just because i tell you it was slack at bnj doenst mean we were slacking. we get shit done. ure not even my boss for crying out loud. omg.. i so needed to rant and let it all out.

for a moment that day i actually felt like telling you that i quit. cuz i cannot take being bossed around. but u are my friend, and the guys were nice and it wouldnt be very polite of me to do so, so i had to suck it all in. everyone gives off vibes. and we kinda rub off each other, so it wouldnt kill to be nicer a bit and smile a little. it'll make things easier and everyone else happier.

sometimes i dont get how we tend to take the people we are close to for granted and forget to show  them that we love them. why is it that we are polite and nice to unfamilars and strangers, and we dont give a shit when it comes to our friends?! these are all subconsciously happening and we dont even realize that we are doing it. it's pretty sad.

perhaps thinking about it has gotten me all cranky and irritated. dont get me wrong, i love working at pluck and i love the people there. i just get irritated when i get bossed around by people of same authority.

2007-09-23T03:34:00.001+08:00

pull shapes

fri night made the week. Beat at Home Club was simply awesome.
headed down to dempsey's with the pluck guys after work to chill. and im in love with adrian's mini. to quote samuel, "the car is sex". seriously. just the car.
i kinda miss all the rush and hurry working at dempsey's. how we struggle to take down waffle orders and run around. was fun! very much different from pluck. but pluck definitely has its own fun. probably towards closing time when everyone's around.

alex and shaun joined us at home club, together with samuel and ken and friends. ginette was spinning and the music was simply awesome. i just love it how no one freakin cares and just gets high on the music, jumping around and all. cool shit.

indie sins: sam & ken

random photos by ken..god knows when was tt taken!!!

i loved it. every bit. forgot how good music was at Home Club.

2007-09-23T02:11:00.000+08:00

Unexpected at Walas

we headed down to hv for some drinks later.. since it was still early.. the music was great. and there was waayy too many drinks. absolutely loved the butterscotch lime cordial with sprite! one of my fav drinks now. thanks to kenny! met the bosses from pluck there too, and some of kenny's friends.. was fun.. lots of crazy things went on..plus people watch is always entertaining..

dawn & kenny

yuki's first late night out in s'pore!

the bosses & friend from pluck
alex, shaun & adrian

craaaaazzzyyy pluck guys and friends

and yes.. i found my mini friend!
this picture doesnt do the height diff any justice!!

kenny and his new blackhead remover!

ms polly!!
missed hanging out with u girl!

with dawn, kenny & his friends..

shaun offered us a lift home. in his van. it was an adventure. seriously. i thought it was gonna be like a mini van thing with proper seats. but it was the exact same kidnapper's van, just like those they use in movies where they shove u in and tie u up. i was a tad bit freaked out. we were falling all over whenever the van made a turn. i felt like i was being kidnapped.

dawn was waaayyy tipsy by that time so we kept on laughing at everything!

2007-09-23T02:08:00.001+08:00

at last

hell week was finally over on thursday. skipped several classes, missed zouk and sleepless nights doing reports and presentations. total killer. at least the presentation was fun. so it all worked out well. time for the party to begin! everyone got a little high after it was over cuz we finally could breathe. for real..

the donut ladies!

geok, liyi & yuki!
crazily fun project mates!
had alot of fun hunting donuts down! haha..


since it was the start of mid term break and nothing to do.. i brought yuki down to haji lane, and met up with the zouk pple.. sam, azy, justin and all..
had yummy rum&raisin ice cream. i so so so love it!

brought yuki to marina after to shop around.. since she's never been to that part of s'pore. poor girl has no one to bring her around.. she's a sweetie though.. damn funny too! dinner at fish and co! dawn joined us too.. we were all starving so everything was absolutely yummylicious!

the feast!

2007-09-16T18:25:00.001+08:00

any other world

changes, new environment, new faces. the feeling of a fresh start always seems appealing. the past familiarities have somewhat receded in the sea of what i call, 'everything else'. i like the unknown. getting the adrenalin rush of not knowing what ure gonna get, the whole mysterious thing always works. somehow, time has been racing by as well. days are flying past, so quickly you can still clearly remember what the first day of uni was like, or how it was to start working.

the past weeks have been pretty mixed up. like both busy, yet slack at the same time. i cant believe saturday just passed like that. or maybe it was the fact that fri night ended at 7am on saturday morning, so it was just waking up to dinner and a little work at Pluck and that's it. feels unnatural to be so unproductive for a day. it's just wrong. signs of a workaholic i guess. It's been a week since i started work at Pluck. somehow work doesn't seem like work. perhaps its the whole feel of the place. the quiet lane tucked away from all the noise and probably the world. i like it there. or maybe it's just because I've always wanted to have my own shop. Adrian and the guys are nice. big kids, like how Sharon would describe them. fri night felt like a night hanging out with the guys. what can i say, boys will always be boys. so there i was selling things, scooping ice cream, and being official photographer for the night. it was very much entertaining. i never knew i'd turn red THAT easily. for no reason too! why?! it's bad. and i don't get how amusing it is. anyway..it was funny seeing how many female customers got scared away. like i say, guy will be guys. was fun anyway.

so fri night started off late. very late! thanks to z who came to pick us up. it was off to dempsey's for some waffles and ice cream with mae, jolene and the guys. then it was party at zouk! making space at phuture and laughing at weird random guys. hilarious. phuture was full house by the time we got there. so it was pretty crazy. thanks to nic and azy for the no queue and free entry!

my babe azy!

with jeannette and yiming

jean & zz

2007-09-06T01:45:00.000+08:00

beyond limitations

went for jazz technique classes with sharon today. omg. it was painful. probably cuz i have not done dance in quite a while. so all the stretching kinda hurts. but it was fun nonetheless.

some weird things i saw today:
father christmas! ok.. a look alike. such a funny fuddy-daddy sorta look.
this girl who wore like a rather hideous polka dotted dress WITH crocs. i thought the dress was bad. know those online poofy kind. till i looked down and saw the crocs. no one, NO ONE should ever ever think of wearing those. sometimes i really wonder, dont you look yourself in the mirror and think, "what the hell am i thinking?!"

and i realize it's the first wed night in quite a while that im home instead of zouk. amazing.

2007-09-06T01:05:00.001+08:00

fragments of the same dead star

meet up with jas for some shopping and dinner at baker's inn. havent been there in a while and i guess their food's not that bad now. the dessert tapas came in pretty funky cups. as usual, i loved the furniture and decor more than the food.

chocolate caramel hazel nut crunch, black sesame ice cream, raspberry and caramel pana cota & cheese cake.
sinfully pleasurable.

jas and i


:::::::

anyway.. quick update, since i realize it's been pretty dead here. school's been keeping me pretty busy. not that there's alot of work, just that everyone's being so competitive and mugging so hard so it's pretty preasurizing not catching up. i don't think ive studied that much before. as usual, it's a drag.

things have been going pretty ok for work and stuff. but certain things are just intolerable.  im nice, that doesnt mean i can be cheated. as the saying goes, once bitten twice shy. so you can kiss your plans goodbye, cuz truths will always surface, it just takes time. seriously, it's pretty sad to leave the friends you work with. but some things just leaves you with no choice. trust broken takes more than a sorry to be gained. and to quote jon's favourite phrase, "You think Thank You can be eaten?! Paper cannot feed you you know?!!" it's hilarious.
i can't believe im still expected to so the bloody decor despite being cheated of my PAY!
thinking of it really pisses me off.
the whole place is getting pretty messed up. both socially and environmentally. it's getting disgusting. moving on..

anyway, im pretty happy and thank god for 2 new opportunities! Pluck at Haji Lane, and maybe, maybe island creamery! hopefully! i start at Pluck this Saturday so drop by for a visit!! :) of course there will be ice cream!

i  miss taking photos with my lomo! and ive yet to use my holga. friday! hopefully.

2007-08-30T22:50:00.000+08:00

late night social experiments

credits to mr erwin. another last min decision to head down to zouk on wed, and last friday. it's really starting to become my 2nd home sorta thing. ive been going like twice a week for the past few months. goodness. so it's getting a tad bit boring now.

wed nights are becoming less entertaining. with so many underaged crashers, and having to squeeze though tons of weirdos, it almost seemed as if zouk has dropped in its standards. sad to say. it just reminds you how long ago that it was you freakin out outside the club praying that u dont get caught for that fake id! hilarious.

phuture has now become the meeting place for desperate guys. i never knew guys are THAT desperate. poor erwin got grinded quite a bit too. seeing them flock from one girl to another after being rejected, and still keep trying. i dont get it. dont they understand that a girl is uncomfortable with a total weird ass stranger trying to breathe down her neck?! and if i turn to glare at u it means f-off! but noooo.. to them somehow it just signals come closer, and irritate me more. how wonderful. perhaps clubs should screen people. elitist elitist! haha.. but that'll never work. it was fun, looking at all these people and thinking what has really gone wrong with their heads. like dont you ever think?! oh well..

the blog's been pretty dead. im always too tired to post. not that there's nothing. there's tons! so many things i think about writing, but never get around to doing it. been busy all day with all my text deadlines. im screwed. both style and seventeen chasing me for work, when people take forever to get back to you with info you need. oh! Saylee called and say they're giving me the bag one of the designers made for the diy spread, so YAY!

lately, it's like so many pple from sch are getting internships with Style. cuz Mina sent an email to the sch to request for interns. it used to be some what exclusive in a way, or at least it seems so. cuz it requires some basic knowledge and skill. but now it's sorta like cheapened. i never believed that everyone and anyone has fashion sense. even i dont think im that good either, cuz basically S'pore's fashion, as compared to other parts of the world kinda suck pretty badly. Mina said they're gonna start taking in more cuz they need the help. and they have no editorial budget, so intern=free labour. but its a fun learning experience. i loved it. i guess people are starting to realize that it isnt that difficult to work in the media. that it's not that exclusive as they think it is. which kina means i have to search for newer grounds. Harpers, or overseas perhaps?! S'pore's pretty limited anyway.

so it's another weekend. i need to get a new job pronto. spending way waaayy too much money. especially on cab rides. damn!

2007-08-24T11:14:00.000+08:00

my weekend starts on wednesday!

lunch hour at ntu is a terror. prety much like a war. i never knew it would be that bad. met Samuel at Can A, BIG MISTAKE. that place was swarmed with people. all sorts. sadly hardly see any normal ones. it was crazy. and no one has manners! at all! and it was like a weirdo fest. in my 2 years in ntu have i not seen anything this bad. there were groups of girls jumping around to some music. omg. horrifying.

the weather kinda dampen our moods to go for class. skip forensic yet again. then it was off to Starbucks at Forum to do some reading.

dinner with the girls jas and cheryl. miss u guys. quick let's go shopping sooN!

the usual wed night with alvin and the birthday boy Mr. Erwin. Happy 22nd! boy are u old. music was pretty bad at zouk. sadly. what's wrong with the dj?!! anyhow, it was quite fun laughing at weird ass people and seeing how desperate some guys can get. i love the flaming! thanks Sat! and i still want the butterscotch shots! yum yum!

phuture wasnt that good either. half the time getting squashed and stopping erwin from getting into a fight. this dude is one violent little thing i swear. just dance la yea?! haha.. either way, i still cant picture you dancing. seems just totally wrong. hilarious. sadly the lack of the running commentary. anyway. it was fun la.. too many sa people at zouk on one night.

to mr erwin nah
Happy Birthday!
u need to learn how to smile nicely.
not spastically;
:)

2007-08-19T12:23:00.000+08:00

sinfully addictive

On Pedder and Fash Bash was a tad bit disappointing. plus the weather didnt make anything better, so we ended up bumming at Canele at Paragon. Simply sinful chocolate cake!

shin!

my supposedly emo shot. yeah right!

it was so good we cleaned the plate!
u gotta try it.

cheers to the night of spontaneity
all because mr erwin said he doesnt have a life.

 it was gonna be either zouk or hv, and i so couldnt picture erwin clubbing, so it was off to hv for coffee and dessert..  plus the people watch and random comments about stockings and hot pants, foc and whatever. hilarious nonsense.

on the way home, we had to pass zouk, and i dunno what happened either we ended up in zouk. since we were there, with free parking and free entry, so why not?! never dare mr erwin. nonono. i thought last week was bad enough, being there in slippers, last night was worse. tshirt vest shorts and slippers. totally not clubbing wear at all.

it was guest DJ Ta-Shi spinning, and it was rnb on the main floor. damn he was good. sure knows how to tease the crowd plus the awesome mixes and interesting transitions. this dude knows his shit! had alot of fun laughing at random guys and weird asses. somehow erwin just attracts guys trying to grind him, or maybe its just his arm. this dude on the podium was trying to grind his arm, which was hilarious. totally. also, how all the guys without girls were just standing there stoning. seemed so sad just cuz they didnt know the songs. obviously shows how lacking in music they are. then there were all the closet gays, or what it seems to be. guys touching guys all over. what's up with that?! perhaps the running commentary of the night by erwin made everything funnier.  but it was one crazy night.

it was too hot to wear the vest so erwin wore it for me. haha..
here, in his perfected retarded smile.

2007-08-18T03:33:00.000+08:00

i miss taking photos.
gotta take out my holga and start shooting soon.

2007-08-13T02:17:00.000+08:00

drop your act,
speak up if you have the guts to

i havent written in a while. things have been going well. until what i heard today. it's shocking. and utterly disgusting. mis-comm? or someone's playing the lying game. im not close to a perfect christian, but i dare say God's up there to judge. it's saddening, and disappointing. yet another thing i can never get.

i live in a world where i have this big bubble and secretly wish everyone can chill, be happy and get along. why is that so freaking difficult?! i thought things were going ok, and improving. apparently not. maybe its time to move on. i dont need to take anymore of this nonsense. it's not worth the money anyway. and i sure dont need to put up with all this crap.

it's amazing how people can still come and find fault with you when ure doing your best to do your job right and get things done properly. or worse still, shut up and let someone else find the fault with you.

2007-08-06T02:05:00.000+08:00

Sunday indie fest

dawn and i went to esplanade to catch the last of Bay Beats. met brian and his burmese friend there too. still regret not going for the friday night one. we saw like 3 bands or so play. this band from china called Too Koo, yea, funny name, but they were pretty good. and Kate for Kale, kinda heavy metal rock band. which kinda grows on you. somehow the lead reminds me a whole lot of joel. i wonder where is that boy now..

anyway, it was a fun night, cool music, nice breeze, tons of people to watch. it was hilarious how some people react to music. the mosh-ers, which i still dont get, how crazily insane people will find banging into one another and getting hurt fun. and there are the head bangers. we saw this group of malay dudes losing it to the blasting rock music, banging their heads like it was gonna fall off any moment. crazily funny. it almost seems like they're possessed! then there were the usual "oh-im-too-cool-for-this" kinda people.. those who think that they are cool, and try to be in the hip and cool crowd. it's damn funny how they get a shock and start leaving once the music came on and was too loud.

there was this particular uncle that was the star of the night. guess he was either pretty much drunk, or plain insane, or high on some sorta drugs. he started dancing something that seemed like the cha-cha to heavy metal. it was HILARIOUS! we couldnt stop laughing. but its cool that he didnt bother and just had a good time. perhaps he thought it was an outdoor club. it was so funny seeing him shake his booty and try to dance with random people around him! and also with his wife, or what it seems to be. the poor lady was so humiliated or freaked out that she tried to run away from him. it just made us laugh non stop.

the whole atmosphere was really bustling. tons of people everywhere. especially those that dawn attracts. haha.. i still find what kenny said to u damn funny. "be careful they might all pounce on you!" anyway, ive never seen esplanade so crowded before. the energy level was really high, everyone seemed pretty hyped up. and i love the visial arts exhibition. cool stuff.

"too koo" rockin it out
weird name, but pretty good music

dawn and i

chandra and his burmese friend

oh great.. i have school in like 8 hours or so. freak.

2007-08-04T15:11:00.000+08:00

Party at Home

Festival of Praise with Delirious was great. Really great music. sadly the energy level was pretty low. perhaps it was the opening night and all. compared to the past few years, it was a tad bit mellow. but still good nonetheless.

it was off to Home Club with Ken and the rest. ive heard of it, and always wanted to go till last night. it was AWESOME. so happen Ginette was spinning there, and the music was really good. its such a coincidence cuz i was just talking to Ginette the previous day about the Seventeen DIY Chic Story, and then meeting her at Home. pretty cool lady. Home was a tad bit small and stuffy, but the music made up for it. a total different crowd as compared to zouk. had quite alot of fun!

ken sat, sha, nat and myself!

2007-08-04T14:31:00.000+08:00

On Cloud 9

the making of jon's new creation, Cloud 9. simply just love the oreo and waffle bits in between. yummylicious!

Cloud 9 in the making..

TA-DAA!!! tempting?!
9 huge scoops with layers of crunchy waffles and oreos in between, covered with carame and hot fudge, topped off with marshmallows, sprinkles and nuts! YUM!
tell me u can resist it?!

and...

i made a new little thing: Mr Squishy Pac-Man!

and some random shots of jon and i.

this is hilarious.
jon's signature smile :|

2007-08-01T01:52:00.001+08:00

last train

so the sorta adventure began at tiong baruh. samantha's crazy idea of doing a photo shoot on the mrt train. it was crazy, but definitely one cool idea. it was suppose to be a shoot about a couple on the mrt. where the girl is kinda sick of the relationship, but the guy just wants to get intimate. yea.. there were some other surprising shots. but sam didnt send me those! maybe they didnt turn out too good. it was kinda of a last min shoot so i didnt manage to get clothes for the model, Pauline. So she kinda ended up wearing my clothes instead. it looks good though. i like the whole feel and lighting of the pictures. very very singaporean. very typical subway shoot.

the shoot was suppose to be done without interaction between the photographer sam and the model. so it was pretty fun. kinda like the paparazzi shot kinda thing. we had to enter the train through separate doors, and sam would then slowly try to capture her shot. or like sit opposite the model and shoot the photos. it was an eye opener to see how the different people on the train reacted. some were quite hilarious. like how this guy kept trying so hard to make way for sam to shoot, but that just killed the whole purpose. and then there were the usual big-eyed stares, dropped jaws and weird looks. not to mention the nosey parkers that kept trying to lean over to figure out what the hell we were doing. so many instances that i wanted to burst out laughing. im sure the people had an interesting ride home to remember.

it was a night of many first. First time i took the train all the way to the west, and then all the way to the east. it was insane. and the first shoot on the train. the first time the male calefare did a shoot as well. i hope he didnt get into too much trouble with his gf! why cant girls just chill and be more understanding?! poor dude got killed because he was nice enough to be honest and tell his gf everything, about posing with a female model. like hello! it's a shoot! where's your sense of professionalism?! not the first time ive seen this sorta problem. girls just can be that immature! its appalling.

anyhow, the shoot was fun! and pictures were good! enjoy!

2007-07-29T15:11:00.000+08:00

paint me a fresh coat of french manicure

grey sky mornings, the smell of wet grass, the occasional cold morning breeze. looking at rain drops on the windows of the cab. every morning i'll sit and wonder why am i continuing with what im doing. somehow the notion of not having a fixed plan of what to do or a daily schedule has became routine. ive gotten so used to spontaneity that its hard to keep a fixed schedule. the 2 somewhat blends together too.

things have pretty much became like the weather. wet and dreary. much disappointments as well. first there was the spontaneous beach holiday to Krabi, which got scraped due to bad weather and it's the monsoon season. so now it's no holiday. damn.
also, i realize that ive dug myself yet another hole. gotten myself stuck in too deep and cant come out. "you'll end up getting yourself hurt".. i guess these were enough to get me crushed. so period. no more. no more. once bitten, twice shy. three times, ive had enough to try. i feel really silly yet again. of not listening to tt little voice in your head. of not pulling away and staying void of all feelings. perhaps one night of folly is all it takes to mess it all up. lesson learnt, and moving on. goodbye. i wanna say goodbye and make it the last.

ive always felt that this is not where im suppose to be at. always felt tt i should be elsewhere. somewhere tt will allow me to not hold back. to just let things flow. to push creativity to the edge, to walk the narrow line between danger and safety. i wanna leave and never look back. why has circumstances has to be so cruel?

2007-07-28T11:15:00.000+08:00

flash back

these photos have been sitting in my com for way way to long!

met up with jas for lunch a couple of saturdays back. dessert at The Canele was excellent. all the little pretty cakes are like bites of heaven!

2must tries: strawberry shortcake and royaltine

huishan!

Dawn P. in da house yo! :)

Haji Lane flea with the guys. it was really cool. ok. i love the place so im biased. but the stuff they sell there are actually way better than most fleas. at least they are all buy-able! and the whole lazy sunday feel was so there.

jon and sat and the cool vintage pay phone in one of the shops


Happy 21st Emme!

Retro Party at Raffles Hotel with Emme and the SC babes
certainly one retro party. not tt everyone dame dressed up, but all the scgs girl came and some whom we've not met in years! it was the typical catch up chat over tea, and reminiscing over old school days. gosh, feels old.
somehow it felt a little odd how all your classmates are all well settled with their boyfriends. sometimes u think, when will that be you? but then again, it just reminds you of how much time has past. its sweet, seeing them all in love. wish u guys all the best!

sharon and i and the birthday girl, emme!

scgs girls

2007-07-28T11:00:00.000+08:00

all the geeks get the girl

jon's not so suprise birthday dinner! yes yes, we couldnt make it a suprise cuz he might just stand us up, since he's famous for that. splendid dinner made my Chef Kelly again! ur boyfriend's gonna be one hell of a lucky guy. Theme for the night was Geek Fest! but sadly, those who tried coming kinda failed. all except the geek boy himself jon! haha.. we still love you.

it was an all american dinner menu. probably with the exception of the salad. but i loved the salad the best! we had creamy cheese baked pasta, sausages with sauteed onions and barbecued leek wrapped with bacon. plus freshly baked apple pie and ice cream for desset. certainly a feast!

Chef Kelly at work!

jon and his new found baby

birthday boy jon!

sebas and mike says noooo!

table spread of delectables!

my darling girlfriend

kelly dear!

happy birthday jon!
quit being a geek aye!

after the party it was off to Zouk for a fashion show by some local designers with theo and her bf. well, it was funny how the models strutted their stuff down the runway. and the vast lack in talent in singapore. sadly, 99% of the models were not modeling at all! but some of the clothes were pretty cool.
didnt really stay back to club much. trance boy came down, and theo and josh left. great. so hung around a bit and danced to some trance after some red bull and vodka. i still find it difficult to dance to trance. the heels were a killer so it was off to bed for me.

theowee darling!
i miss u! come back again!! quick!
u can come whack all the mean ass boys!
hahaha..

2007-07-26T03:55:00.000+08:00

My Spontaneous Beach Holiday!!

Krabi here we come!!
Anyone wanna come along? sms me! we're booking tickets tmr!! it's damn damn cheap!

im finally getting my long awaited beach holiday! YAY!

2007-07-21T05:18:00.000+08:00

drop instant happiness into my martini glass

zouk's been a tad boring this week. rather disappointing. or perhaps i'm getting bored of the usual routine? i'm not quite sure actually.

perhaps the things on my mind is just way too confusing. maybe i just want to make it confusing. i don't know. seeing people around me leave again stirs up the same feelings. feelings of envy and frustration that im stuck where i am. so much for you being in control of your life. Actually no, i've surrendered that and left it up to God. But then again even God gives us choices. Why then can't i just make one simple one that will change everything?!

Things at style and 17 are going pretty well. actually everything else outside school's been going great. maybe not quite the partying and stuff. well that part has always been great, and i never wish to out grow it. but stuff like my own growth, relationships etc.. not to say that ive had any. so oh well. it's been rather stagnant i'd say. i'm tired of the whole being so anxious and having a huge smile plastered across your face everytime i get an sms thing. it's just silly and tiring. yea things could be fun.. things have been fun in fact. but there's only so much/so long a girl can wait. not that im waiting for anything. but oh well. im rambling about what i dont even comprehend.

you got me influenced so easily. making me explore greener pastures yet unknown. and now i've gone so far im beginning to think perhaps i might be lost. everytime i find my way back and turn my back around, something sweeps me off my feet and throw my off my tracks. well done. you've got me all confused. or maybe not. im confused about the fact that im confused. oh great! maybe at 529am things arent really going straight.

whatever happened to sunshine and daisies
peace, serenity, joy and simplicity?
please dont stash them away back in your closet

i wanna run free in a field of wildflowers on a bright sunny day
look back just to see that smile
let the world just simply fade away...

2007-07-21T04:10:00.001+08:00

Party in Eden

the fruits of our labour and the burnt weekend. finally. been running around with theo prepping for this shoot. and thank god it turned out pretty good.

guess we over-borrowed a tad bit. had way too much stuff. the food was er.. nightmare-ish! it's damn difficult to prep food for a shoot. things just dont look good after so much waiting. location of the shoot was at my editor's place. i so love the house. has the whole rustic charming run-down feel to it. yet it feels rather enchanting with all the greenery. absolutely chill out! i cant wait to move out and get my own place too.

she just moved in a couple of weeks ago i guess, so the place is still filled with mosquitoes.. which was a horror! plus the weather didnt help much either. but it was all good in the end. quite fun! it was one accident prone shoot! broke way too any glasses!

Behind the scenes at Eden

ms theowee!
girl dont go back to aussie yea?!

lovely couple

almost done..

theo's up to her nonsense again
what a way to kill time

more theowee nonsense

The End Product

kebabs and burgers

mojitios and wine

summer berry sweets

every party needs a little pampering

turned out pretty well i would say. despite the mini flood, rain and hell lot of mosquitoes. it wouldnt have been an outdoor shoot without them anyway. :)

2007-07-20T00:34:00.000+08:00

allure

a perpetual dream
too good to be true

just like the music
taking you past boundaries
setting you free

2007-07-18T13:54:00.001+08:00

My Sweet Escape II
Bangkok!

2007-07-16T23:48:00.001+08:00

a little more than expected..

fri night was quiet. got home way early. and thank god mae called and asked me down to zouk. which turned out to be more fun than i expected. met dwight and his friend mervyn there. phuture girl meets trance boy. hmmm.. it was a fun night. perhaps a bit too fun till i lost one side of my earring! ive been loosing so many things to zouk! rahh..

my babe mae! love ya girl!

dwight, alex and mae!

tance boy mervyn..

dwight!

party pple at phuture!

i like this pic dwight took.. the colour.. and haha..
nononono.. it ain't what ure thinking. no way..
camera angle can be deceiving! :)

2007-07-16T02:38:00.000+08:00

My Sweet Escape
Bangkok Part I

zouk was so nice that i didnt wanted to leave. but i had too if not we'll be late cuz i was like not done packing. so it was a zoom off to the airport. and everyone was kinda half dead. Dean came along to send us off too. so did sharon and her friend. which i still think is insane cuz it's freakin 5 in the morninG!! madness! but it was pretty fun. i guess the hype and excitement kept us up for a bit. well enough for us to lug ourselves to the plane and then crash.

leavin leavin on a jet plane!

this is how we kill time..

bangkok was simply awesome. i so so love it. despite the rainy weather and me having my wallet pickpocketed! raHH! i'll bite your head off.  other than that, shopping and food and crazy tuk tuk rides were simply just fantastic! i love how the people are friendly. and we happily made friends with some cuties. Suan Lom Lane 4!! omg! cute jap looking dude, and the hilarious Daniel/Danny who keeps going "so exciting!" we couldnt stop laughing, plus the really hot druggie with gorgeous eyes. not to forget Kao San's vintage bag druggie and friends who helped us find more night markets to visit! they're all fun pple. i so wanna open a shop there and sell clothes i design!

it rained pretty much almost everyday. and the floors were quite icky! sometimes i wonder how the girls wear their pretty heels and walk around there considering that the roads are so uneven and the steps are so freakin steep! i would have fall flat on my face.

chillin at the hotel before dinner..

sat night dinner was spent with my relatives, and i love love love my cousins! they are the ones who will make you laugh and run about even after a long tiring day! simply just adorable! i miss playing with them! i hope they come over to singapore soon!

myself, sharon and dawn with sernoi, bua, nut and little one don.

hyperactive kids! definitely made dinner fun! and bua and don knew how to use my cam!

all packed and ready to go.. maybe not quite.. cuz the princess just wants to stay in bed! ahaha.. we all came back with an extra bag of stuff! :)
i so didnt want to come back. really.

2007-07-16T01:39:00.001+08:00

sun kissed

a ton of photos from a couple of weeks back. took me forever to load them. here goes..

the so called dream life. well, maybe on some days. chilling out by the beach at Cafe Del Mar with Theo and Angie. just the day before my bangkok trip! it was an awesome prelude to my escape. i love love the beach. just cant seem to understand why. but everytime im there it's just breathtaking. i could lie there all day long. watch the waves, people, and clouds go by. ive always told daddy that i wanna retire and live by the beach, maybe phuket or something.

theoweee!! love u crazy girl!

with angie too! this is one sweet babe!

we hung out by the pool, and just people watch. sounds of the waves plus a little chill out/house music was nice. somehow you just feel like you're in another country. yes yes, im really all into my escape.

headed to town to meet the princess sharon! shar baby's gonna crash at my place after zouk then it's off to the airport!!

doing what we do best! pictures!

zouk at night was pretty awesome. brought dean in for the first time. had a hell lot of fun laughing. sharon and dean were like married couples fighting, it was hilarious! and met someone whom i thought was nice, but now.. turns out he's just like every other guy. typical. another reason why so many girls are still single. it was fun while it lasted. really. but tt's about as much as it gets. i swear some pple just dont have a conscience. oh well.

2007-07-13T00:48:00.000+08:00

the records have become stagant
memories overflow
thoughts driving me crazy at times
i really wish i'd just know what to do

so much going on
i dont even have the time to keep track
it's great to have gone away for the week
finding joy in a foreign land

2007-07-03T01:17:00.001+08:00

i broke my fav pair of red vintage shades! and im am freakin pissed off! RAHHHHHHH!!!!
why must it be this pair tt broke?!! argh!
pary to God, pls let it be possible to fix. pleaseee...

and so im confused between getting a pair of marc jacobs shades or a black calvin klein plastic specs. HELP!!! dilemma! i cant decide!

2007-07-01T23:22:00.000+08:00

trapped in a tiny tiny world dying to break free
[music: Brand New Colony, Postal Service]

so much for the week.
spent today with different pple, bumming around town. im starting to get pretty sick of town. been there almost every day. lunch and window shopping with jasmine dear. miss u babe!

went to catch Hula Girls with theo and josh at picture house. it's a good show. the kind that gives you a warm feeling after. kinda sad and i teared. it has the whole jap culture thing going on. and shots were pretty good as well. loved it.

dinner with sharon and huishan. walked around visiting num shops. no we're not THAT bored please. sharon went to visit her friends, and we tagged along. i miss sunday night dinner with daddy and dean.

things in spore has been pretty mundane. everywhere, everything seems the same. there's severe lack of variety. in the things and people. we are suppose to be multi culture. but sadly, it's just like we're different colours in a single culture where everyone dresses the same, is equally demanding and selfish (or some call it kiasu), and trying so very hard to be 'attas'. someone told me it's pretty useless to buy a nice Gucci bag and carry it. cuz all around there are fakes. and even if some were real, it's class is killed by a typical top&denim skirt combi. oh well. perhaps im just very very bored with this little island. i cant wait to leave on thursday!

jasmine asked me what's my current happiness today. and come to think of it, it's really simply just leaving the country.hey, im a girl with absolutely NO STRINGS ATTACHED! so it's so freakin easy for me to leave, turn my back and walk out with no looking back. ive got nothing holding me back. nothing making me want to stay in this tiny hole. the feeling's been like this for quite some time. everytime i go to the airport, and walk pass the departure gates, i'll be on a high. the feeling of freedom is so overwhelming and just gives you butterflies and makes you smile like you've won a million bucks. ive always dream of walking through the door, and never ever coming back for some time. and im still praying that day will come soon. just being able to travel around the world, or live in another country for some time. leaving all familiar faces behind. i guess that will definitely be my happiness. i can certainly say it'll so make me the happiest girl in the world.

2007-07-01T23:00:00.000+08:00

we are the cartoon heroes

[music: Finch, The Observatory]

ben's 21st party at his place.. nice gathering of people. it was a costume party.. but as most costume parties in singapore are, hardly anyone ever dress up. so i was fussing around the whole day deciding what to go as.. it was down to barbie, or GI Jane. cuz i happened to find a army camo scarf i bought for my shoot sometime last year which i could make into a halter top.

i tried braiding my hair.. and it looked alright so i went with GI Jane. wanted to wear the camo scarf top out straight, but i had to go to town.. and there's no way im going to town in a costume. especially when it's backless. like just tie knot at the back. i realize i didnt have to wear it at the party cuz everyone was in their own clothes. best dressed went to a little pirate kid. and nominies was Shrek and Princess Fiona(Sat & Josh). was fun nonetheless.

HAPPY 21st BEN!!!

ms tweety bird and GI Jane?
belly said a yellow top could pass her off as tweety

us with shrek. check out the ears!

saints and the b'dae boy

princess fiona and his pouty red lips after some very spicy chicken wings

pout!
ken sat josh

the 2 soldiers of the night!
birthday boy ben & i

ken & i.
i love ken's fedora hat!!
i want one!! and i cant find it anywhere!! RAHH!

2007-07-01T22:30:00.000+08:00

picture overload!

i cant believe we took so many ! trust sharon with my cam.. and u'll end up with this much photos! in just a couple of hours!

ooh! met this adorable little girl from Israel!

2007-07-01T03:12:00.000+08:00

try to catch me ridin dirty
[music: Umbrella, Rihanna

busy night at zouk. sadly there was less partying than usual. nicole dear came over to dress up. and we had quite alot of time so we did what all girls do..

nicole's favourite function on the macbook.

zouk was hmm.. pretty alright. except the dear girl got wasted at like 1230! and was falling all over the place. so i had to take care of her. took quite a few kicks and punches from the tipsy girl.. cant believe i just left her for 5mins to go to the toilet and it's bye bye nicole.. wow.. no no  no more drinks for u girl..

guess she wasnt the only one gone. met the num guys outside zouk at 1. all lined up and dead on the floor. and the party just begun! i had to drag nicole to put her home then go back to join theo and alvin to club. phuture was packed like crap. horrible! but music was fabulous! so it was another wed night at zouk.

2007-07-01T02:59:00.000+08:00

the quaint little corner
[music: Broken Arrow, The Album Leaf]

so i realized i havent updated in quite a while. i didnt know i had that much in my camera i didnt upload. so here goes. it's the regular spurt of update for the week.

monday night dinner with kelly mike and jon

we met at raffles city, instead of the much usual holland v. how odd. they wanted something different. but guess what? we ended up having thai food for dinner yet again. that's what we have everytime we are there. but it still rocks. and ive been having cravings for thai food for like ever. actually i dont mind having it everyday. rich flavours and gorgeous aroma! yum! only real thai food only. not the fusion kinda thing.

kelly brought us to this pretty little Italian cafe tucked away for dessert. i love love the place. chic decor, dim and very European. and have i not mention the desserts are awesome! i found my new branch/lunch/tea place!! yay!

deep in thought?
was dessert conversation THAT serious?!

and finally a cool proper shot of mike.

jon and i arguing over the usual nonsense-im sure it was photography for that night.

so happened that i got the day off as well. cuz my internship at style got pushed back a day late. i was bored at home so i decided to pay my hairstylist a visit.

2007-06-27T13:10:00.000+08:00

right back to the start once again

my first day at style.. it was a pretty slack one i'd say. probably because they were busy rushing to close the august issue and there was not much left to do.

so the first hour was spent cutting paper. yeah. as interns u do all sorts of weird things. like cut paper. to make "the book". the final copy of the month's mag before print. it was pretty fun though. get to see what's in it and all. then i was thrown 2 pieces of news to write. one watch news and one jewellery news. which reminded me very very much of Chopra's 107, and Hedwig's 202. so much for getting away with writing from press releases. i never liked the classes. i sat there forever trying to come up with an interesting angle. after such a long time of not writing. yikes! i hope i didnt make too much of a mess.

i got to meet the entire team, minus, Daniel, the editor who was on leave, at lunch. Mina treated us to Spizza at Jln Kayu. its really such a big change from the last mag i was at. it's a much bigger team, and yet everyone seems like a big family. was pretty fun. and i so love the four cheese pizza from spizza!

2007-06-26T00:11:00.000+08:00

grey sky morning

my last day of off. i guess. hopefully there'll be more. was suppose to hit the beach with mae but we overslept and it was gloomy! rah. so i made a rash decision and went to visit my hair stylist. chopped off some hair and coloured it a lighter shade. i like the colour now. and my fringe is SHORT! rah. alright. so im just not used to it.

been slacking a tad bit too much. and finally finally internship at Style starts tmr. i cant wait!! wish me luck. and i hope the people are nice..

i need money. my back account is depleting drastically. and im pretty much screwed. help. no more shopping for me! but i still have so many things to buy!!! help!! where's all my pay?!

2007-06-25T03:02:00.000+08:00

playing hard to get & the disappearing act

theoweee is BACK!!! yay!!! (im STRAIGHT!) ahaha.. met up with shin and her for lunch st thie hong kong food place near shin's house. omg. the heat was so totally killing us. damn freakin hot and we were melting. food was damn good though. and ms theo had to be like an hour late. wow.

best girls in the world!
theo and shin!

spent the afternoon hiding in airconditioned parts of town. i spent money agaiN! omg. bought heels and perfume and some nonsense. rahh.. im broke. like seriously. no more shopping for me till bangkok.

it was a quiet night at home. just me, my mac book and the tv. princess dairies was on! typical chic flick. went down to zouk later that night with mae cuz she felt like clubbing. i was kinda half asleep. phuture on a saturday night has WEIRD guys. like seriously. was laughing half the time. at how guys moved and behaved. hilarious. mae had fun mimicking them too. it was crazy.
so that was the first saturday night home alone in a long while.

2007-06-25T02:35:00.001+08:00

attracted to your vagueness

lazy start to a lazy day..

met nicole in town, only to come back home cuz she was sleepy and wanted to nap. town was quite a bore so we decided to chill at my place and watch silly cartoons. we were suppose to watch ben's performance, but i ditched them and went to hang out at pluck at haji lane instead. helped out a bit and had quite much fun with sharon, shin and brian.

nicole all curled up

dinner at this malay place near bussorah street

we couldnt decide what to do so we drove around town.. picked sharon, visited cathay and ended up at cathay. with some num guys. was um.. alright. nothing fantastic. but fun nonetheless. and we found a damn cool stairway. omg. i'd love to do shoots there.

nonsense in the car

we went rock climbing?! nahhh

brian, i, nicole, ben and the cool stairway to never never land

we got thrown behind bars, while the 2 lovebirds were lost in their own world.

re-visiting cathay..
like we're not sick enough of the place..

hanging at the lounge
leisha, sharon, edmund, brian and i
num people: zisky, hailey, andy & leisha

cass darling was working tOO!

2007-06-25T02:19:00.001+08:00

malaysia round 2

wed morning. had to wake up waaayyy too early. so i gues everyone was a tab bit cranky and dead. with the exception of rory. who is always too hyper for the morning. the trip wasnt that bad. not that fantastic but still fun. saw som e cool old houses along the way. lovely. so many places to do shoots.

jon brought us to this huge ass mall that was like spore. had mango, top shop and all. cool place. didnt shop much cuz the girls were up for some "chat chat" cheapo bargain find. oh well. we bought donuts! lots of them! and had one of the best beef kway tiao ive tried!

nicole, ben dawn and i in the back seat..
we found CATHAY in jb!

birds in a row!
3 dozen dunkin donuts!! madness!

we rushed back by 7 cuz the girls had some sort of a curfew.. so changed and headed down to zouk later that night.

zouk was packed as usual. met sharon and her friends, and kenneth and gang. sharon kinda went mia so ended up at mambo with ken and all. omg, ming rui was so so gone. hilarious! and bernie came!
ended up at phuture with the num guys. hmm.. odd. but oh well. the night was gonna be over anyway. there was great music. i wanted to dance.. so i just had to close my eyes and not look. hopefully the next week would be better.

2007-06-25T00:29:00.001+08:00

lunch with the bestie

met up with angel for lunch on monday.. omg tt was way back. i miss this girl. always so busy! but it was nice catching up over lunch and updating all the nonsense! ahh.. so much we've missed out on! i love ansiang. cool shops. asylum has some new funky mini camera tt's like smaller than ur palm. how cool is tt?! and it's damn cheap. only problem is that there's only one place that develops the film. damn. so im still deciding. gotta go back there soon.

subject registration on tues and thurs gave me hell of a headache. i hate hate registering for subs. hopefully i'll get black and white photography. been wanting to take that forever!! im like sacrificing my fri nights for it!

2007-06-24T23:42:00.000+08:00

updating the way overdued

late nights, and not seeing the morning. new faces, interesting places. im glad people are starting to come back. lets see.. last week was kinda packed. with a very empty weekend that's all. bahh..
ansiang, malaysia, zouk, haji lane and secret stair case!! and theo came bacK!! omg! im so happy ure back babe! but nahh..im sorry im straight! ahahahaahahha....

2007-06-18T02:33:00.000+08:00

enjoying the silence

"attas shopping day" according to samuel... omg we walked for 4 hours straight! or even more. went to almost everywhere in town plus city hall. and damn i realize i need alot of money. saw so many things i want.

the list:
marc jacobs shades
gucci bag
prada deer skin wallet

omg i'll be broke if i buy all of them. rahhh.. forget it. we'll see how it goes.

it was nice walking around on a sunday. people watching. nice breeze. seems like its been a while since i had these walks. quiet, not quite the usual crazy day. but a nice peaceful chill-out day. loved the silence, the walking through the streets of town on a cloudy, lazy sunday afternoon.

then it was father's day dinner with dean and daddy. Ah-Roy Thai rocks! i miss thailand. finally some decent good authentic thai curry and yummy dessert! it was my only meal of the day. but damn, it was goooood! truly lives up to its name. ah-roy!! yum! daddy wants to go away for a break in july. and im hoping to tag along. i need time out from singapore! maybe hk or krabi or bali would be good? and i still cant wait for bangkok! yay!!

2007-06-18T00:58:00.000+08:00

running all over singapore

lunch at dempsey's with nicole and brian. ok. chandra didnt eat anything. food was good. yummy! specially made by Bob the resident chef! sadly the mushroom soup was made by the WOM-WOM, if not we would have gotten one too. Bob's mushroom soup is like damn good! lunch was pretty ok. went there to cheer merissa up and rescue her from some meanie who bully pretty girls! RAHHH..like what someone said, "you can have the 50cents extra, cuz you need it more". ahaha. inside joke. oh well.. i dont like it when people are mean to my friends! and i dont like bossy people!

pretty babe nicole!

the resident chef BOB!

it started to pour and we didnt wanna stay long there cuz it wasnt like welcoming at all..somehow. u know the stupid feeling of someone watching you? yeah. so we left for er.. destination i dunno.. drove around a bit deciding where to go..

gate to the enchanting forest

nicole's shocked expression when she found out brian didnt really have a license!

us in chandra's car

headed for Vivo!!
we figured that's the only place big enough to kill time at and not get wet

where's chandra?!

next destination, island creamery at serenes
omg. i so wanna go over there to work.
we brought the sushi over there to eat cuz brian and nicole felt hungry and noooo.. bad move. sushi+ice cream taste funkay.. eeew.. weird..
i miss the mud pie! it rocks!
and 2 scoops of island creamery cant event get you a scoop of ben&jerry's! shows how crazily overpriced bnj is.
but they are all still great ice cream!

attack of the giant sushi!!!!

ice cream sushi!
eeeeew...

later on dinner was with nickie and the class of 03a12!
i miss all of u guys!! nickie my cool geek boy is going away!! so sad. like nooo. please dont go! who's gonna mambo with us now?!! come back come back!! like now!
i was too full to eat thanks to the ice cream and 3 pieces of sushi!

my belly and the very changed zhuomin!
hot babes!

nickie!! the geek boy that made geeks cool! yeaahh.
i'll miss u! and your whole tonne of nonsense.
not to forget U MADE ME RUN IN THE RAIN!!!!!
omg! insane. what was i thinking!?! rahhh



headed down to cathay after to meet up with sharon and the rest. ben was performing again. and so did nicole. oooh yes.. nicole has like a totally awesome voice! that girl sure can sing! and and i got dragged up to sing a song. goodnedd.. i hope no glass broke! dear god.. was fun..
cathay's like our second home now. everyone just goes there to chill it's great!

nicole, ben and sharon darling!

so much for saturday. it was fun though. running all around!

2007-06-14T09:20:00.000+08:00

it's in the way you move baby..

zouk last night was AWESOME! need i say more?!
my first wed that i spent completely at Phuture. despite the horrible swarm of army boys. company was great. sharon and nicole dear, plus ben, amy and sharon's friends. hot stuff!!
ive never danced so much since Zouk Out. or rather, met a guy who can dance so much since the one at Zouk Out. till last night. which was fun. shar and nicole!! ure the best party babes!
"like totally!" love love!

cab back with sharon's friend was a tad but freaky. probably cuz we found out that all 3 of us had the exact same birth date! what a coincidence!

2007-06-12T02:43:00.000+08:00

beautiful stranger

you got me with that one look
with those gorgeous, mesmerizing eyes of yous

ive been shopping way way too much. and i still havent been to the Gucci or YSL sale. not that i'm super rich, but just to see what cool stuff the put on sale. and maybe, hopefully find some cheap steal. yeah rite.

pedder red sale left me broke. but happy. but broke!! i love my new white heels!

and im finally getting away from this island. m'sia on fri and bangkok in july! whoo hoo! i dont care if there's those political crap. ok.. maybe i do, a bit. but God, please make it go away! Where is the lurve?!!

somehow it seems everyone's coming back, yet at the same time, everyone's going away. i dont know. i hate endings. like i want EVERYONE. rah. whatever. hunger's making me cranky. need to sleep it off.

i'd love some change
but you're my only constant

2007-06-12T02:32:00.000+08:00

weekend in the sun II

more photos from nicole! it was a while since i had a nice girly hang-out sess. these 2 were great!

2007-06-11T13:35:00.000+08:00

weekend in the sun

jon's birthday party on saturday was great. what more can u love than great company, gorgeous sun and the beach?!

met nicole and made our way down to cafe del mar
it was an adventure walking out of dempsey's and trying to get a cab. girl ure hilarious!

me, nicole and sarah-cheryl
one of brian's friend friend. funky and crazy like us. awesome.
we should all go party soon babe!

we took many more photos, but i dunno where they all went too. hopefully it's in nicole's camera! i want photos!
and guess who we bumped into?! Utt!! hot hot stuff. it was rather embarrassing. and the guys made it worse by making us take a photo with him. i need to scan that Polaroid. he started speaking to me in thai after brian told him im half thai, so i was like er.. lost. i can speak, like a little, just to get my bargains and get my way around bangkok. he was quite funny though.. cool cool..

dinner was at marina bay. it was like the first in years since ive been there. definitely not a place to go, but fun nonetheless. screaming, whining and complaining at everything, plus trying to communicate was damn funny. girls will be girls. dawn and her mini electric fan. i still find that damn amusing! ahahaha..

lovelies sharon & dawn

more photos at zouk. but i dont know where they are again. whatever.. zouk was pretty alright. phuture was fun.. clubbing without boys is pretty good actually. im in love with the butterscotch shot jon opened. yummylicious!

it was nice until u start seeing people get wasted and drunk. not a nice sight. especially if it's ur friends. maybe it's just me feeling uneasy. i don't like to see people ruin themselves, and letting the alcohol take over. certain amount of dignity MUST be kept, despite the circumstance.
once bitten, no twice.
maybe my lesson was quite a hard one to learn that's why.
we had a great time anyway.

2007-06-09T04:25:00.001+08:00

last wed mambo
i still can't believe i saw alvin there! like 1st time! damn rare! maybe i should buy 4D!
he was like damn high or something! went crazy and kept screaming! haha. we were too happy!

2007-06-09T03:41:00.000+08:00

i'll blend feelings into a milkshake so u can have some

this blog has like gone hibernating for some time. partly cuz ive been working nights for the past few weeks, and suppers plus zouk. way to much has been happening. but it keeps things going. im happy, so as long as im amused and it makes me laugh. things wouldnt be that great if not for the people!

dempsey's has it's ups and downs. there are like great pple, and also er.. whatever la. im happy with the great pple. those that make me laugh so hard it hurts! love u guys! but too bad IM GOING BACK TO CATHAY! i dun care.. neh NEH NEH! haha.. ok.. yea.. i'll miss u all. well.. u can always come over to cathay! haha.. rocks! im gonna miss all the nonsense la, like rolly polly with sprinkles!, and rolly polly with sprinkles LA! (Singlish Edition), and WOMB-WOMB-WOMB-WOMB- BAAAAT!! haha.. omg.. we laughed so much last night it hurts! i think there's a new mok-mok-thingy coming up!

so many photos, malaysia, zouk, late night suppers. more on my lomo. here's a few..

jon sharon and i before thomson prata

cathay night!

sarah and chadra came by!

this picture makes you laugh!

nicole babe dropped by with ben too!

tonight: teochew porridge supper

chandra going mad in his car with anny from dempsey
we were damn bored waiting in the car park for jon to settle stuff at zouk. and i was all alone in jon's car! bah.. so we took photos across cars.
Anny's damn funny! we initiated her so now she's part of the WOMB-WOMB-WOMB-BAAAAAT! 
ahahaha..

i like this shot! love the colous and lights
er.. apparently jon's hands while he was "dance-driving"
there was hell ALOT of "dance-drivin" tonight. it was damn funny, but i think i was more worried for my life. hahaha..
cheer up little fish.
even fishes do have feelings yea? :|

2007-06-05T13:53:00.000+08:00

shots from the sexy lc-a!

i wanted to post from work today.. but i was dead and freezing.. and customers were irritating! bahh.. so anyway. here are the long ago photos taken at cathay and dempsey's!

jon, jolene, erwin!, emme & shu, haffie&shar!, huiyi, ben and jon again..

The Fantastic 4: portraits from back to school night!

i like jon's emo boy shot.
it's the photographer that makes the photo awesome.. not the model, hehe.. :|
um.. doing the cathay 'fish'  move thing..
this photo makes our hands looks like they're fused together, gross! eew..

mr cam whore!

sharon my babe!!

2007-06-04T01:16:00.001+08:00

playing with fire
flirting with temptation

it's been a while. its fun, toying with the ever so faint thin line. perhaps im just a sucker for pushing limits, taking risks and flirting with trouble. i crave the adrenalin. especially so, lately. im surprised and i wonder why.

perhaps im reaching a point where frustration has been bottled up so much that everything seems numb. and i jump at every chance of change, escape and freedom. i once told someone that i wouldnt mind leaving everything behind and starting afresh somewhere else. it's like a picture being edited so much that it burdens the observer just looking at it. so many layers of complications, it's tiring just thinking about it.

i wanna leave this place.
go away for a period of time.

even if it's just a day
by the beach, a long car ride, a walk to nowhere, whatever
i desperately need to release
so much so that it's spilling over
mood swings, emo moments
it's draining

it feels like suffocation
a heavy weight on your chest
sometimes it's like ripping the nails off your fingers
slowly, one by one
and all you can do is stand there and stare at the blood dripping

random nonsense.
it's just way too much going on right now

what do you do when ure sick and tired of everything,
but yet, you can't give up?

i wanna fall in love all over again,
but i think ive lost the ability to feel.

2007-06-04T01:15:00.001+08:00

2007-06-01T12:06:00.001+08:00

What mental disorder do you have? Your Result: ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) You have a very hard time focusing, and you find it difficult to stay on task without your mind wandering. You probably zone in and out of conversations and tend to miss out on directions because you cannot focus
GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder)
Manic Depressive
OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)
Paranoia
What mental disorder do you have?

2007-05-30T02:31:00.000+08:00

digging another hole for myself

thanks, you got me all paranoid
now it's bugging me. if i was too naiive as to trust people so easily. my judgement sucks. cuz i always tend to believe people are nice. like everyone. and i always get into shit. and now i really pray and hope i will not regret. i don't know why i want to trust you, or why i even did in the first place. but after what you said, now i am scared. and confused again. why?! please tell me it's all just a joke. i was shocked at how fast you can change the mood and made me stay quiet the remaining ride. scary isnt it? it's like taking a plunge right into the deep end. and staying lost in the depths of your own thoughts.

i live my life with no regrets
please don't make me start to.

2007-05-29T00:10:00.000+08:00

blessing in disguise

shopping with the girls today was fun as usual. bought uncle edmund a polo tee from ben sherman. we were all so stone, wandering around like lost souls. and i found a nice top! :)

i was so dreading work. the moment i got off the cab i felt queasy. not that i hate the place. but it's just a weird feeling. like you don't feel welcome. i don't quite understand why. and then it got worse. thank god for the girls nicole and merissa who stayed till 7. made things way better.

today i learnt to give everyone a chance. and not belive what others say about them. people are nice, just misunderstood.

things kinda got pretty weird after they left. i guess i was very much quiet. i just didnt feel like my usual self. and i think donald got quite worried cuz he kept asking if i was alright. all i did was stand at a corner and do my job. serve, scoop, and clean. usual stuff, maybe just a tad bit lifeless. for once in my entire working life i had no one to talk to. especially when weetiong and donald went out. and the girls left. i tried to be nice and make jokes.. ok maybe my jokes arent funny. oh well. i wasnt in much of a mood to talk also. i was thinking. alot. about everything. work, school, people, friends, church, my plans.. i guess i must have come off as being very proud cuz i was so quiet. but what's wrong with being quiet.

there were times that i wished i had like faked sick. but that wont be very professional of me. work is work. i stood there, and wished so so freakin hard that i could teleport myself back to cathay. or anywhere out of the place at that very moment. it was nothing bad. i just felt very uneasy. i wasnt angry of irritated or anything. just uneasy and lonely. it has been a while since i left lonely. and it sucks.

i wanted to skip dinner, cuz i didnt wanted to eat alone. so i tried telling weetiong and donald i wasnt hungry. when i was like dying. my cramps didnt help much either. half way i kinda lost my appetite. donald bought me a packet so i had to eat it cuz i felt bad. so i sat there, alone. yes.. alone.. and stared at my food. it was damn freakin sad. i thought i was gonna cry. i think i said the longest grace ever today. kept praying that time will past fast or maybe things will get better. so i did it. i had a meal alone. like my first meal alone in like years. ive always had this policy that if i'd have to eat alone, i'd rather not eat. eating is a happy thing, i don't believe people should eat alone. i'll never ever let anyone eat alone from now on. no way. it's too painful.

thankfully donald came over to talk to me. and i couldnt take it anymore so i told him how i felt and everything. he's a good manager. it's not him, it's just the way the place is being portrayed. u step in there and everything's so gorgeous. but somehow i cant feel welcomed there. maybe it's just me. i dunno how to put it to words. it's just that being there i feel like im in the wrong place. it just feels uneasy. maybe i just belong to cathay. so yes...good news is....

IM TRANSFERING BACK TO CATHAY!!! YAY!!

dempsey's kinda like of a different time dimension. somehow time just crawls by so painfully. by 930 it felt like 12. and it was too painful waiting for the hours to go by.

ive learnt to appreciate some people.
and know to everyone is nice, just misunderstood.
i learnt what it is to feel alone and i wont let anyone eat alone
i learnt patience
i learnt tolerance
and i learnt how to forget your hunger

2007-05-28T00:51:00.000+08:00

birthday parties

the first in quite a long while that i woke up at 8. it was painful. had to drag myself out of bed. even a long shower didnt help to open my eyes. staying awake during service was too hard of a struggle.mornings are just bad time.

the kid's party at cathay was some what of the usual terror. what more this was a boy's party. i actually thought the store was gonna be torn apart at times. little terrors. we met this 2 sisters, joycelyn and joanne who were such angels! turns out she's an scgs girl! :) the dear sweerheart saw some pictures in my cam and found "the man" cute. it was damn hilarious. and she kept asking me what time "the man" was gonna come to the party! i never knew attraction, crushes and what-nots started at such a young age.

joycelyn

with her sister joanne

:::::::

Monaco Monochrome
Happy 21st Shu!

mae and i hiked all the way to the far east for Monaco Monochrome. it was one long ride. thank god for mae and her silly nonsense! made the night so much more fun!

pretty cupcakes, good food, black jack and many more silly hand slapping games to pass the night.

self entertained

with the birthday girl

i love love this one..

babes that came a long way
it's been 7 years!

kenny's babes?! nahhhh..
silly boy seemed so happy for that moment!

2007-05-27T03:53:00.000+08:00

losing track of time

supper with 3/4 of the fantastic 4. it was a nice time talking nonsense and sharing secrets over prata and ice tea. i never knew we could talk to much.

sometimes it feels like the night could go on forever..

2007-05-26T04:06:00.000+08:00

perhaps, a little too much?

first day of work at dempsey's was pretty strange for some matter. i was very much quieter. didn't quite feel like myself. i thought it'd be ok at first, but hmm.. it's just weird. and i was pretty freaked out by the no. of deja vu scenes i got.

ive learned to appreciate simplicity. and also fall back into the comfort of familiarity. if there's anything that i hate, it'd have to be false pretenses.i really really dislike and dont understand why people have to be fake. i value truth and honesty quite a fair bit. probably because ive seen friends and people become a completely different person and coming across as being so plastic. and the scary thing is they do it so well that sometimes you just cant help but wonder are they even genuine? the fine line between being fake and putting up a front is often blurred. everyone puts up different fronts everyday, but fronts can be seen through. being fake is like completely being this other fictional character and making people think that you're that character when actually you're totally someone else. why cant everyone just come clean and make things simple?

life itself is complicated enough, why complicate things even further? that's definitely one question i'd like to ask God. there's only so much time you get on earth, why make things so difficult? everyone makes mistakes, no point judging.

i thought about some old friends ive had. yea. had. it's sad to see that they've changed so out of the blue into someone completely different. is that what people call growing up? i sure hope it isnt so.

simplicity, honesty & truthfullness
is it that difficult?

2007-05-26T03:32:00.000+08:00

it's definitely not what you think it is

back to school night at Cathay!
jon and i rushed down to cathay after work at dempsey's for our back to school night, all dressed in our uniforms! it was quite funny seeing the customer's weird expression. and such a big irony cuz school hols kinda starts today!

working at dempsey's today has made me appreciate Cathay so so so very much. going there after work at dempsey's was just like stepping back into realism. huge huge difference.

like i told fungyee and dawn from office when they asked me, "i love the place, but whether i love working there would depend on who i work with." i know it doesnt really sound very nice, but i'd rather be honest. i cant say i'll love when i've only been there for a couple of hours. and it's like if you work with nice, real people, of course u'll love working, the place wouldnt matter.

on our way down to Cathay!! finally..

it's BACK TO SCHOOL NIGHT!

the fantastic 4: jon haffie myself & dawn
of course it's not exclusive! cuz fantastic 4 always adds new members!
sharon babe! ure Ms Marvel yea?! pls remember your powers!! haha..and then there's spidey too! and many many more to come!

it was so difficult trying to act guai! choking!!

spidey! and his head popping magic trick! hilarious!
im so gonna miss Uncle Edmund! truly the best and most honest manager i've seen

Jon: too cool for school

it's all about the smiles
:| :) :) :)
zoom in and look at the drawing on the paper

cool rj kia vs geek vj boy
yeah rite...

2007-05-25T03:12:00.000+08:00

false hopes and instant highs

it's all coming back again
waiting for an sms
and smiling to my phone
late nights and day dreams

instant highs
instant lows
u've got me all confused
dear, i'd really love to know

it's so impossible
but stubborn faith perseveres

i tried figuring you out
but i just dig myself another hole
dont you just hate it when the cloud of awkwardness falls
the grey blurry fog that clouds your brain

it seems like it's starting to get better
or is it just me trying too hard to be positive?

2007-05-25T02:33:00.000+08:00

coincidences or chemistry?

photos upload 2
first look at dempsey

if you've not already known, im being transfered over to BnJ at Dempsey's! it's called The Ranch Home. really cool place. love the ambiance and it's huge ass!

Got a lift from jon up there cuz it's way too impossible to get there on your own. it's madness. it has always been like some sorta secret civilization in the midst of the forest. and jon decided to pick up other jon as well. boys will be boys. the car ride was well.. um.. fun with a little weird moments.

it was my vintage shades day! and jon decided to play along too so he went home to get his avaitors. and we found some "viper man" shades for other jon.

doing the signature pout

thank god my babe jolene was there!

boys will be boys. clean up was.. very dirty. but the place is just enchanting!

jon siow and i
*To SC girls: Doesnt he remind you of the pe Mr Ang from SC?!! eeew! hahaha..
our "xian ji bua" face

my dear jo!

the car ride back was omg. mad. 5 girls +  jons=MADNESS MAYHEM! i think there was a severe lack in oxygen and everyone just became crazy and couldnt stop laughing! the girls kept shouting out random locations they wanna drop at! damn funny.

the trip up was well.. nice and fun, but hmm.. bit awkward. i think it's just me. and i hope it does not repeat when i start work there. i so hate awkward pauses. and the "don't think i don't know" look. damn.

2007-05-25T02:18:00.000+08:00

photos upload 1
errands

the day i spend running around quite a bit helping jon find a printer and do his invite thing. visited so many places in an afternoon. wonders of a car.

jon trying to do some pout thing again

the pretty babe

my CAKE! haha.. we bumped into donald(my CAKE!) at raffles

err...viking jon?
hahahaha..

we found a party costume shop at some secluded building which i dunno what it's called. it was quite a scary party shop. there was like so many costumes, masks and all. and it was pretty old and the building is like quiet and ancient! omg. i think i'll like freak out if i have to stay in the shop.

2007-05-24T04:24:00.000+08:00

where were you while we were getting high?

being nice pays off. and knowing more people is awesome! thanks! zouk's getting better each time. sadly, maybe not tonight. i don't know. first time mambo ended so early! i was quite shock. and the usual squeeze at phuture. i think i saw a little too much today. it's disgusting. i believe in vino veritas, so yeah. how am i gonna look at you the same way again? beats me. u siad ignorance is bliss. i should think so. sadly not tonight. i was um.. haha.. hemorrhaging! oh well.. not that it matters. gross.. eeeew!

someone still owes me a clubbing night. please dont puke ur guts out ok? where were u while we were getting high? its scary how easily you can give me an instant high.

i had alot of fun with the girls mae and scoopy sharon. crazy babes! and mae, mambo is not weird. maybe the people at mambo are. especially this time round. and sadly no cuties AT ALL! omg! but we had fun! :) tons of weird asses. it's like weirdo's night out or something! yikes!

i guess im seeing and knowing way too much than i should. it's not good. i don't wanna know! why is it that when you don't wanna know then you get everything thrown right in your face? ironic. pray to god and hope the next week would be good. im still trying to embrace change. it aint easy. being forced to be normal, when u know things were not. maybe it's just me overreacting. to top it all off, tonight didnt help either.

2007-05-23T00:51:00.000+08:00

spurts of random thoughts

a call and an sms

i got an sms, and i almost cried
and then i received a call, and almost freaked out.
it's crazy. i cant believe myself sometimes.

it's funny how one small little thing can just make your day, and completely cheer you up. and also how fast a simple call can like crash everything and just dampen your spirit. why does it seem like my happiness is revolved around circumstances. oh well. girls are emotional. everyone's a little emo kid inside. but life goes on.

i dont wanna leave cathay. well part of me does want to. cuz seeing the same place like almost everyday kinda makes you sick. but then again, i cant bear to leave the girls behind. the past few weeks has been so much fun. it's become our second home. i'll miss all of u so so much. BUT! i'll definitely be back. change is good. i guess...

i wanna continue with all the nonsense we've been doing
the late night suppers, bumming around
doing silly things and laughing at everything
  
i dont think i'll know how to have fun over at dempseys :(
help!!!!

can i pack u guys into a big brown bag and bring you over with me?

:::::::

it's all coming back now

on a totally different note,
i dont understand how things can get so weird, then suddenly it's back to normal again. i still remember feeling like crap that its got me so freakin confused, and now it's all looking great! its made me happy, made me smile silly all over again. perhaps, hopefully, this time will be for the better..

i can only wish for things to be simple

im a simple girl
who is easily pleased..

:::::::

Polaroids are fun fun FUN!
took so many today! plus the lomo shots! i hope they turn out good.

i wanna go out and shoot some photos soon! join me!
i need a scanner to scan all my photos!! helP!!

2007-05-23T00:47:00.000+08:00

Galya

prints from the photo shoot for looque models are out!

our model Galya's from Russia. i love the aloof, lost in your own look, part troubled, yet free look. sam's a great photographer cum make up and hair stylist!! all photos done with film! great lighting despite the rain! These photos are way better than the ones on her com card! Galya's a dear! 

2007-05-22T01:45:00.000+08:00

it's almost as if everything was back to normal
who am i kidding again?!

spent the day running around, so many places in just one afternoon.. but was all fun. i bought my red vintage shades! :D now im broke. but happy. but broke. :| i was pretty much in a daze. probably due to the lack of sleep.ate too much of a lunch and felt too full. but it was a nice yummy lunch! somehow i cant sleep. i dunno why. its bad. I WANT MY SLEEP raaah..

of silly nonsense and weird observations.
sometimes im amused by what goes on inside my mind
if only you'd know half the things i think of
i think you'll die laughing

i was like 2hrs late for work. not like it really matters, cuz there's enough people at the shop anyway. i know every day i say that i dont feel like working. probably cuz the girls are the only ones that's keeping me going, and making work worth going for. thanks! i think i visited alot of places that ive never been to today. like weird random places that makes me feel as if we've driven through a time zone or into an alternate reality. cool.

a pretty blue monday,
but a cheery shade of blue!

2007-05-22T01:31:00.000+08:00

psalms 139

i went for service on sat. it was weird. why in the world do i have to see you?! you, the one and only person i wish to just disappear off the face of this earth. the one and only being or mass of meat tt is taking up precious oxygen in the air. calling you human is such a great big insult to the human race. thinking of it just makes me wanna puke. whatever. i was like this close to walking out. thank god i realize you're not worth it for me to miss service.

it's been a while since ive gone for service. not that i dont wanna go. just that there's always something happening on sat! but it was good. God showed me alot of things ive like pushed aside. and ive actually alot of thinking to do. which i do not like to. but oh well. i have to. i need to go for a beach vacation soon. or maybe a nice long quiet car ride would do me some good. i need to sort out alot of things. really alot.

i hate the fact everything is always such a blur and i just cant figure out why im confused all the time. help!

2007-05-21T13:00:00.000+08:00

post zouk flea

another roll of lomo, better shots, some are still over exposed. damn. but the good ones are beautiful. maybe because i love highly saturated colours. and daddy thinks it's crap and nonsese cuz the colour isnt right. he's like the typical-traditional-photographerish type. and i just like shooting nonsense.

zouk flea was fun. just tt it was way to crowded to shop. hiaz. it always is. bumped into donald(my cake!!) uncle weetiong and chandran. haha.. silly boy! photos are in my lomo! i need a scanner!!! help!! shopping with dawn was good. tt girls's damn funny. love u babe! im so happy we're all gonna go bangkok! rocks! i saw a pair of vintage shades at far east i want. damn. now im regretting not getting it. rah. cuz i bought a bag. im spending too much!! gonna have to leave my cards at home. bah.

we dropped by cathay to sharon's rescue cuz the poor girl was dying from some sorta scratch and clawing! hahaha.. cheer up babe! and dont lose yourself ah!! we love u! all of us have been hanging around cathay alot. it's turning into our home i tell you. but FUN!

ms haffie xian ji bua! haha

kat!

my glass babe! oooh! :P
get well soon dear..

pearlyn!

sharon the crazy one with bubbles.. haha

2007-05-19T03:35:00.000+08:00

Retail Therapy No. 1

Patients: Dea & Jas

therapy no. 1 with jasmine was damn fun! bought so much stuff! and my Kate Moss for Top Shop shorts! i still wanna get the yellow one! bahh.. and i realize we didnt take any photos! raH!

oh well.. must go again k jas babe!

Retail Therapy No. 2

Patients: Dawn, Haffie & Dea

it was damn hilarious! omg, ive not had such a crazy shopping experience in a while! last was theo i think! haha.. THEOWOO COME BACK!!! ok, anyway.. vivo was quite fun!and we only covered a small section la! had lunch at Marche which was really really pretty! all my photos are in the lomo so cant wait to develop it!!

dawn and haffie went crazy at topshop la. haffie wants to try everything! and gets angry with things cuz its too high uP! haha. and dawn whines about everything! the best is still how she whines about her not whining! hahaha.. omg! u girls are really the reason why im still working at cathay!! love love! we HAVE to go on a proper shopping trip sooN!!

i bought a damn happy colourful skirt and unides! yay!

the yummylicious marche food!
calamari, crepe, pasta & hot cross buns! YUM!

 :::

Aloha! Beach Night at Ben & Jerry's Cathay!

It was Hawaiian Beach Night tonight! so we all came in our beach gear! then it got cold! haha.. and it was pretty quiet so we played around quite a bit!

my babes! with pretty brollies in our drinks!

 cheers to the fantastic 4!

jon's emo shot
so poserish!

omg! i didnt know there was so many umbrellas in my hair!
huiyi was happily playing and poking it in while i was washing the collars.. haha..
im sure everyone would think we are mad!

jon haffie and i trying the pout
omG!

doing the signature feline pout! meeeeeooowwww!!!
hahahahaha.. omg!
luscious!

presenting Fantastic 4 and the 1-10 pose

omg! i wonder why i even did it! so embarrassing! it was just crazy la! i dont even know how we came about doing it. pobably making fun of stupid people again! i never knew the poses till today la.. haha..

it was quite a fun friday :)

i lost my lomo in the caB! ok.. it's not even mine. my friend loaned it to me! i love the cam la! and thank god they just called to say the cab driver found it! THANK YOU GOD! ok.. promise i'll keep my word, be good and go to church!!
i wanna go take more photos!!

2007-05-18T01:59:00.000+08:00

WHY is it that difficult not to be misunderstood and give the wrong idea?
it's damn freakin frustrating
i dont freakin feel a thing
it's great!
get it straight!

anyway.. the first set of lomo shots are our! and im loving the colours! pretty pretty! highly saturated. awesome! now to find a scanner and scan it it. damn.

2007-05-17T03:15:00.000+08:00

Supper 1: Sempang Bedok

the very very scary ride in jon's car. i swear i thought i was not gonna make it to the next day.  the prata place was like in malaysia or something. and we had an adventure finding the toilet across the street and another trying to send sharon home. haha.. tt blur girl didn't know how to get home so we got lost trying to look for sand piles! damn funny..

rory and the girls, ele and sharon

Supper 2: Thomson Prata

everyone was dead tired. but it was fun.

2007-05-17T02:46:00.000+08:00

The Not-So Wonderland

Thanks to Mr Rain and the whole shit crap at Zouk the night before, Wonderland kinda got killed and stolen by the evil witch of the forest. So the picnic ended up at Cathay. No where near my choice of party locations but it was so freakin last min, so i did not have much of a choice.

Barely slept, swollen eyes and feeling crappier than i can ever feel isnt really the best time to have a party. So much for a blast. It was nice having everyone together i guess. Thanks so so so much to those that helped. Sharon, Shin, Jasmine, i'd not have made it without you girls.. and Jon. Thanks for taking time off and lending help. and of course the people who came. sorry it was a tab bit of a let down. promise you guys the next one will be more of a blast. i should like get some club.

cathay babes! yes, jon included

:::

The Wonderful Box from my babes!

21 special things. I absolutely love it!
Thanks Sharon, Shin & Mae!

WOOOOOO!! HOLGA!

Ken!! u rock la dude!!! I LOVE U! ahaha.. not THAT way.. hehehe.. i love the Holga much much more! hahaha.. so so happy to have this! been wanting one for quite a while.. Thanks everyone who chipped in! There's too manY! haha. love love it!
let's go take photos SOON!

2007-05-17T00:49:00.000+08:00

Esmirada

shu, mae, i, sharon & olivia
Happy Sweet 21st Mae!
it's been waaayyy too long! love u to bits!

Mae's birthday dinner at Esmirada's. Food was goooood! and it was really funny trying to keep our etiquette while struggling with the huge stick of kebab. any meet up with an scgs babe is always worth the time! there's just too much to catch up!


:::

Very Pampered at Zouk
also the night i wish never to remember

berry chiva smoothies, lots of photos and a tad too much to drink
what started of as fun really kinda ended in one huge disaster
      
cathay babes, dawn, huiyi and jas!


our own mini party outside the toilet

a screwed up night with good photos.
the irony of life
probably the one and only party night i'll regret. for a long time. i've to be honest, i still hate it. the only thing good was you girls.
i swear i'll never ever let this happen to me again.

2007-05-14T00:50:00.000+08:00

pouring salt on my freshly open wound

if you can turn back time
and do things differently
if you can take the back seat
and watch things happen
if you'd listen to your damn gut feel
and not give into the spur of the moment
if only moving on is as easy as saying it
if only pain would be a better distraction
perhaps it would just numb everything.
perhaps everything would go away in the morning

who am i trying to kid?!

its so ironic how honesty is brutal. so face facts and be clear with yourself. sometimes its even difficult trying to. playing with fire burns you. pushing you limits leaves you feeling like crap. especially when you've got a party the next day. makes everything even more screwed up. maybe a good time away will help? it's just times like these that you wish you can disappear into a far away land. perhaps never returning. one way ticket to never never land. it's times like these when you wanna scream "screw the world", and walk out.

the crying in my sleep came back
came back haunting after a year of freedom
go away
i want it to all go away
i wanna feel ok when i say im ok

tainted innocence
one bitten, twice shy
a sinful addiction
sucking your blood dry

2007-05-12T03:03:00.000+08:00

they say your whole life flashes before you just before you leave this earth.
sometimes i wonder how does it feel..

one of the sweetest clips ive seen. why is it all lovely dovey these days?! weird...

2007-05-12T02:52:00.000+08:00

i came across this ice cream test! quite funny! try it!!

Your Score: CHOCOLATE THERAPY!

You scored 77% SWEET, 74% CHUNKY, and 81% UNIQUE!

Link: The Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream Flavor Test written by weered1 on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

2007-05-11T14:06:00.000+08:00

no rhyme or reason..

it seems like a holiday full of parties to me
yea it's all fun
but i cant carry on with these

waking up to lunch,
watching countless mtv half asleep
then heading out
ive not seen the sunrise or the morning in a while

i miss them
i miss the beach
squishing your toes into the sand
i miss the stars
trying to count the glitters of the sky

i miss crying my heart out
laughing till it hurts (well maybe not this)
and really pouring my heart out to someone
letting all the nonsense come out
till i can be free from everything

well if its in vino veritas
maybe i wouldnt mind getting drunk
but a nice long walk and a good chat will do as well

there's so many things i'd like to do
i wanna go to the quiet places in singapore
and take photos of real life
i wanna serve in kids ministry again
see the smiles on their faces
and their innocent laughter

i wanna stop coming home to an empty house
i wanna change things
sometimes i dunno what i want
but maybe i just dunno how to put it out..

2007-05-11T01:34:00.000+08:00

Pre Mambo: Cheryl's Birthday Dinner

Happy Birthday Babe! Hope you had fun!
jas and i couldnt figure out why the sea food platter wont finish! and there was much juicy information revealed over dinner!! haha.. rite jas?!! :P
know everything but act blur! i love u babe! haha

jas, sat daryl & i with the birthday girl

sat & jas

daryl

braces!
havent seen u in a while! u disappeared la! :P


and more pictures from our "dress-up" haha.. trying on my shades at night was damn funny! and i couldnt decide what to wear to mambo! so kept changing!