:::another chapter

Monday, April 30, 2007

escape

too much time on your hands makes one restless, and when i get restless, my mind tend to wander into the darker unknown. the curiosity that sometimes blurs the line of the norm. yet again, who in the world sets the norm?!

it's scary how i can come up with such things in my mind by just starring into space. i wonder about what it is to lose it all? to completely surrender yourself to the choice of poison, to completely be taken over by a feeling so overwhelming it justs knocks you over. i wonder what it is to bleed and watch the blood drip, passing the point of pain, i wonder what it is to drive so fast til you're just about to crash, then jamming the brakes and stopping it all. i wonder what it is to have your life flash right across your face.

perhaps it'll feel great, to be able to get away from things. get away from having to do what people expect of you. get away from constant bugging and breathing down your neck. i absolutely loathe that. i realize ive developed quite an intolerance of being bugged. stress i can manage. but constant bugging and nagging really gets to me. if i say i'll get it done, then chill. it WILL be done. im honestly quite sick and tired of having been told what to do. i need to get away asap. and everytime this happens i just feel like surrendering myself over to the lurking wonders of my mind.

it's almost like taking a walk into a dark unknown with curiosity luring you in, fear so enticing that it bites. there's so many things i have to get done. yet ive completely no mood to do anything. not even planing my holiday or my party for that matter. it's becoming a burden. where's the joy?! there's no more spontaneity anymore. it's sad. i need a drink. get high smelling some substance and dance away like there's no tomorrow.

sometimes i seriously wanna give up.
give up everything im doing now.
absolutely everything
yet it kills me that im such a stubborn ass that wont give up without a fight.
i guess im dying from the fight then..

ecrit ||10:13 AM 0 comments

Sunday, April 29, 2007

crazyyyyy

jolene+me+jon+mambo music= madness +chaos+tons of laughter
the band with the single word song performed. amazingly the song only contained one word, "hello". it was nuts! haha..

we happily blasted mambo music and jon was high on dunno what dancing away. damn funny. just how much i miss work! plus lots of pple came by, joel, dixon matthaias and all. cool..well.. u cant exactly call that work! tk and family came by too!

nicole saluting!

jolene and nicole

me, jo and jon who was trying to pose..

doing the YMCA i suppose. this kid's high on god knows what!

jon the newbie.
i swear it's a freakin small world. u know what i mean.

craziness all the way

i tell u the world's a damn damn small place. seriously. not the first time this happens. the past is the past, but it will sure come back to haunt u! haha.. was a damn funny ride home..

ecrit ||2:34 AM 0 comments

Thursday, April 26, 2007

relief. irritated. rahh.

yay! thank god it's finally over
i guess relief has taken over every other possible feeling
come to think of it, there's a rather large possibility that i will do pretty badly, cuz i referred to the wrong era for Virginia Woolf's writing! great. just great. and i thought she was from Post Mod, not Mod. damn. pray and hope that it'll be ok. i sure cant afford to do badly.

ah. heck. that's worry for another day. have faith in God and believe it'll all be fine. it'll always be fine. for now there are other pressing things waiting.
but just as equally frustrating. why?!

why is it so freakin difficult to set a date?! ive got like a million and one ideas, yet no execution because there is no date. damn. im irritated.
highly irritable. probably due to the lack of sleep.

ecrit ||5:25 PM 0 comments

Monday, April 23, 2007

pictures of the past

ken sent me the pics we took on his holga at sum's 21st party! i love the effects! ok.. even if it ws by accident. looks decomposed! cool..

ken & daryl

sat & ken

i want my lomo lc-a!!!!

ecrit ||12:21 AM 0 comments

Sunday, April 22, 2007

21st
with the best people you can grow up with

sebas girlfriend, kelly, jas and jon
missing from the picture: mike!! cuz someone was late!

future lawyers, engineers, doctors?! and tai tais! :)

me and my champagne cake
 walking by the peer after dinner..

dinner with the group. love u guys. thanks for the cool rings! and the balloon! which none of u helped to carry!! omg! had fun. we'll go for drinks and dessert proper again! next sunday! when im done with exams and sch! bah.. haha.. the card's lovely.. and yes.. i'll still be the same. church is not spelled as c-l-u-b! haha.. i only enjoy loud music, dance and maybe the blinking lights in a dark room. haha.. see.. no harm done!
u guys make me laugh always. and i DO NOT whine. never la pls! it's called getting things done. hehe.. love u guys!
thanks again!

ecrit ||11:37 PM 0 comments

zouk's sweet 16th,
my 21st!

tk gave us invites to Zouk's 16th Bash, so we all went down to celebrate. it was damn packed. but was pretty fun though.. we felt like sardines initially. and took hours before we managed to squeeze our way to members..

i love the invite
some fake id!

lennie's first zouk
ure damn funny babe! i love ya!

tk and us!!

mel and the cupcakes!
she totally jumped up when she saw the table full of food!

jo and lingling

crazily happy

jo and mr skeleton!

dancing the night away at phuture!
omg.ur phone's camera's goood!
i love this pic, only! hehe.. :P

at supper!

roy and the new scoopy jon drove us to um.. his place and jo's place for kuay chup. was damn funny. the guys were just crazy. drove up 10 storeys of car park to drive down cuz it was too high up to walk! haha.. thank god there werent any road blocks! if not roy would be dead!

ecrit ||1:26 PM 0 comments

21st with my lovelies!
emerald hill no.5

what i woukd call a hobo's bar. it was fun! had to climb up to sit on the somewhat shisha look-alike carpet thing. it was the first ive eaten those peanuts with the shells in a few years. and we all got a shock when the waiter came to clear the shells. he just took the bowl and threw all the shells on the floor! and we thought the floor was littered by people. haha. they've got gooood chicken wings!

my lovelies sharon & shin!
love u guys! thanks for the nice dinner!!
pls get well soon, dont fall sick!
we'll go corduroy for desert soon!

ecrit ||1:17 PM 0 comments

pre 21st at Wala's

eic, some japanese beers, nonsense, and bangkok trip planning. which we happen to leave behind at walas. so it was more like no planning. i need a girl to go!! anyone wanna come?? it was pretty ok.. the crowd was a tad bit dead though..

me, daryl, ken, dior, tim and jon

the sweet pair, ken & dior!

lovely black and whites! always rock..

supper after at Al Azzah was damn funny. dunno what Bomb Prata. but it tasted great! really hope the bangkok shopping spree comes through..

ecrit ||1:00 PM 0 comments

Friday, April 20, 2007

(Red)

look what came in the mail on sunday!!
introducing(Red)an addition to my apple family!
alright, so im like a few days slow.. can't blame me, it's the exams! bah..
this made me much happier though.. been wanting it for quite a while..plus it's for a good cause! AIDS Foundation!!

like all babies, (Red) needed clothes! so i bought him THIS!
haha.. it's so cute i love it!shopping's excellent therapy. totally takes the stress away! i bought 2 new cardis for bryan again! but it's pretty cheap after my discount!! at this rate i should just buy his whole shop! :P

ecrit ||2:17 AM 0 comments

sweets by the quaint l'll corner

saints: josh, ben. sat, shihui(my belly!) & i

Happy 21st my Smelly Belly!! Love ya lots!!

smitten by sweets of all sorts at Corduroy & Finch celebrating my belly's 21st! desserts were great! super super sinful!! i probably need to run for a few more hours!! the guys were going on about their Vietnam trip. pretty cool i'd say. i need to get out of singapore too.  for a moment i actually thought exams were over. darn reality! it was quite a fun time though. it just seems like last week that we were all slacking by the caf, skipping classes and talking nonsense. now it's slacking at some cafe, trying to skip work and uni and still talking nonsense! haha.. i just love it! thanks alot for the treat babe!

ecrit ||1:54 AM 0 comments

Thursday, April 19, 2007

OMG!! i want THIS!!!!
or a holga cgfn would be good too!! :D

ok so i should be studying.. bahh..

ecrit ||5:05 PM 0 comments

Sunday, April 15, 2007

the sunday usual

dinner with dean and daddy again.. it was koean tonight, at this quiet little korean place tucked behind raffles hotel. can't remember the name. it was all japish/koreanish with the wooden seats and dividers..

starters
looks weird and foreign, but tasted great!

we got bored waiting for the food so we took lots of photos!
with daddy's hp too. so now his wallpaper has our huge faces! haha..

one of the reasons why u'll never be bored with dean..
cant blame the kid who spent a year of his childhood being Mr Bean. haha. this cracks me up.
silly but funny nut!

omg! look at the resemblance!!

trying to do some weird expression..

daddy..
looks damn old wit specs la..
but tt's his disguise for driving after drinks!

dinner was good.. something different for a change. cuz we realize we always end up having chinese or thai. but according to dean he claims that there's a decomposing taste in korean food. weird! but yea.. preserved stuff are decomposing what! :P

:::

omg.. i cant believe i actually studied almost 7hrs straight at Starbucks today. madness!
and ive formulated a long list of things i want and want to do! and a whole lot of things i could be doing!
studying's a waste of time. seriously.

ecrit ||11:37 PM 0 comments

Saturday, April 14, 2007

photo booth

i found some photos of dean and i amusing ourselves with the photo booth. think it was earlier this year? or last? cant remember. and for those who don't know, dean is my brother. yes, my parents have no imagination to come up with a different name. haha..

hehe.. i like this! cracks me up!

ecrit ||1:46 AM 0 comments

Friday, April 13, 2007

Joshua's 21st!

mel and i went to holland v's starbucks to study after 814.. it was nice and quiet, but freakin hell cold!! it was way worse than being in a fridge. the hot chocolate didnt keep us warm that much! by evening we were like druggies shaking from withdrawal symptoms.

met belly and sat and headed over to settler's for Sum's 21st. quite a few fun games, damn stressing on the brain though, after studying for the whole afternoon. dunno what trade all the different sorts of beans, black eye beans, stink beans.. taboo singapore version was fun! who on earth would guess "toa pa yoh?!" then there was the cranium game where everyone kept shouting. haha.. damn funny! it was a good time though..

saints and the birthday boy joshua!
happy 21st big guy!

jiamin's cute furball!!

ken's high on drinks again?

my belly!!
hope our holiday trip works out!!

josh and his class

we were all damn fascinated with the bunny!

another of ken's self shot.

ive got tons in my com now.  if i sell them to you i'd be RICH!

mr bunny! or is it ms?

ben's signature jaw line pose
ure no longer white! yay!

parties are great stress relievers!


studying makes you damn irritated and stress and bored.. so i bought myself a red ipod nano online at starbuks halfway while studying! YAY! it'll be arriving on monday!!!! can't wait!! :)
thanks ben for the help!
owe u 2 now! haha..

ecrit ||10:12 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

starbucks' becoming my second home

*there's been complains and demands that my font size is too small so here. is it better now?! haha.. :)

6days till exams. im starting to wonder how im gonna finish studying. there's so much going on. i miss the life outside. really. it's always that when ure so busy that you start getting all the jobs. ive turned down 3 this month already. :( whyyyy!!!

school's becoming worse than i thought. told myself not to get involve with anything. but somehow or another i got sucked in. which sucks. i never liked confrontation. never liked to be involve. it's such a short period in your life that u spend in uni, yet there's so much nonsense going on. rather silly if you'd ask me. the world's about giving and taking. sometimes you give in, sometimes others do. i never did see a point in all the quarrels. people make mistakes. shit happens, move on. i guess we can never change what others think of us, so as long as you're true to yourself. theres a hell lot of a world out there waiting to meet u. school's just a small part. i guess working outside allows you to foresee such things and learn to handle them. ive long outgrown letting such trivial things affect me. some random ranting and it'll all be out and over. i guess everyone falls sometime, to me no matter how bad a person may seem to be, there'll always be a good heart deep inside. the world needs more lurve!! ;)i guess the long talk with few friends did help trash things out. then today when i went to school, i realize it kinda never affected me. im still happy! :)thanks for listening, i love u guys!

my bad, i'll pay.
if it's too bad, then maybe another day.

i was really tempted into switching to adm last night. as in seriously changing course. there's just something about the place that makes me feel at home. maybe im just in love with the unfinished concrete arty look. life's a blank canvas without art. then again, a blank canvas IS art. so there's no life without art! i really wonder did i make the wrong decision coming to cs. but there's no time for regrets. just gotta make the best out of things. just pray and hope i get my photography elective next sem!

studying 202 is weird. suddenly random ideas just pop into my head. and ive got like 2 cool ideas to do for fyp! not that i sat down and thought about it. it just came. and its scary cuz it's still a long way more. i wonder if it's possible to do like a solo fyp, and still pull it off. cuz from what it seems, its possible! ive got more than enough contacts and resources, plus outside help. at least ive consulted people about the idea! and no im not overestimating myself. i know my limits. if it's your passion, its in your blood and it'll rock! studying makes you think of pretty crazy things. i think im gonna start compiling a book of crazy random ideas!

adm still seems tempting though! help.

alrights.. tt's enough rambling for today. im back to my books!

ecrit ||11:57 PM 0 comments

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

rewind, recap

finally some 'me' time
i cant take it anymore. sleep has become optional in this past month. i'll just have to sacrifice some of it for some time alone. just to do nonsense and let ur mind wander.

last week of school. exams in 8 days. and no study break. im pretty sure they're just out to drain the life out of us. but whatever for?! come to think of it, you work your ass off just for the cert to get you a higher pay. doesnt mean it'll get you the job. one of the many reasons why i dont get how some people's life simply just revolve around school. there's only that much satisfaction you can derive from getting an A. it all fades away after a while.

this semester has given me a new perspective on school. i used to think it was fun and about meeting nice people, school spirit and all. but that left and kinda stayed in SA, unfortunately. it's unhealthy being in uni. makes you cynical and skeptical. which is bad. no one gives you the benefit of the doubt, no one ever believes in people being genuine. if you do, u'll just get crap. i got crap. from hell alot of people.

sometimes it pushes you so much that u want to just retaliate and tell them off. and you know very well you can shut them off with that one line. but then again, i just cant be bothered. why waste my effort and bother? it's more of how ive lost the effort to even talk back. what's the point anyway. one party always has to win anyway. ive always been the girl who;d just speak her mind without thinking and get into all sorts of trouble. perhaps being quiet now has it's perks. it's not that i let people step all over me, more like letting them walk into their very own grave. cruel, but hey, you dug it. ive seen so much nonsense, heard too many crap. and i still refuse to believe it. sadly, the world will never be that simple.

ive grown to realize how much i dun like confrontation. so much so that i'd rather give in, suck it up and carry on with a smile. i really hope freud's theory of suppression dont follow through. maybe the holiday's a form of release. im pretty amazed of my tolerance level. pretty amazed with how much i can take at one go. i dare say im proud of the fact i can hold up that much and still dont show any cracks, when not a single person has any clue how much nonsense i have going on. school's nothing compared to them all. i can never, ever let my life be all about school.

ive seen superficiality at work,
ive seen brutal back stabbing and bitching
it's all ugly.
ive grown to not like confrontation
i chose to believe and see the good in people
it's not ignorance,
it's having faith, and giving chances

life's just too short to be taken so seriously.

ecrit ||12:58 AM 0 comments

Easter Weekend

the 2nd kid's party at b&j. this one was way way better compared to the last. the girls were angels! and surprising enough, most were scgs girls! had quite alot of fun playing with them.

little princess sarah
she stole the show, and wasnt even the birthday girl!
i heard the cutest thing from her: "my talents are singing and dancing, but i want to be a marine biologist!"
im suprised at what 7 year olds are thinking now!

headed off to the flea with ken and dawn! sgst flea was disappointing. everything seemed to be from bangkok. sad. hopefully this week's fash-bash would be better!
we headed off to red dot traffic museum for MAAD. was kinda cool. not your average flea, but i loved the art and photos there!
unfortunately the rain dampened our mood.

ken
i like the vest!

sat!

after much deciding on whether to go zouk or whatever, we ended up in church for the easter play! of course! it's easter! it was a nice time back in church again. same awkwardness, but it doent really bother me anymore.

i was reminded,
jesus is love personified.

killing time before the performance

i like this!

some photos from ken's holga! now i cant quite decide if i should get one! how how how?! should i? help me decide!!

double exposure of me and ken at far east

double exposure mae and i at emerald hill

ecrit ||12:54 AM 0 comments

Monday, April 09, 2007

just when i thought it was over...

ive not had time for myself in quite a while.
i thought the projects were over. guess not
i need more time. i hope i can even finish studying for exams.

it's 430 in the morning and im still waiting for the damn webhosting page to load our website on.
i need sleep. like a whole day's worth. and i cant even find time for that!
where on earth has all the time gone?!

ecrit ||4:30 AM 0 comments

Thursday, April 05, 2007

This just in!!

It's the annual free cone day again! Come down to Cathay and enjoy the FUN!!

ecrit ||11:50 AM 0 comments

It's finally OVER!!!!

im so freakin happy now. i can finally breathe and relax. well at least for a while. finally all the horrible projects and assignments are done! i seriously need a break!

ecrit ||3:17 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

stranger from the past

a familiar voice called my name when i was cleaning up on sunday. and boy was i shocked. i havent seen you in like 5 years?! the last i recalled, we were still little kids with our silly crushes. now ure all grown up, in ns and stuff. some things just don't change though. was it you? or was it the shock that left the whole tingly feel? probably the shock.

i didnt quite expect to see you though. but it was a nice surprise. i definitely didnt see catching up over Starbucks coming along too. the same smile, the same tingle in your eye when you would laugh. i doubt it's the past coming back, but just the fact that you're such a bad boy now. interesting. so much has changed. but i definitely had a nice time.

it cant be history,
perhaps im just a sucker for bad boys.

ecrit ||10:15 AM 0 comments

little angels gone wrong

the children's birthday party on sunday at b&j was quite a nightmare. well, the after party part at least. definitely not what i pictured it to be. kids are suppose to be adorable and just like little angels. well, most of the ones at the party were FAR from that.ive never seen kids like them before. they were like drunk ad wasted, jumping and running around as if they were high on E. well, that part was ok. all of us were shocked to see how rude and demanding they are. like what on earth are the parents teaching them today?!

victor had an incident with the birthday boy's brother.
vic: Hey girl, here's a balloon for you!"
girl: (starred at him) "I'm not a baby hor!!"

omg! i was damn shock when i heard that. i would have just burst the balloon in her face!!
then there was this boy whom i was helping to teach scoop ice cream called julian. he was damn cute! but i got a big shock when he came back minutes later, poked me in the back and said he wanted more. haha. i never knew kids were so daring.

they had a pinyata at the party. the ones where u have to whack the sweets out. bad idea. the kids got so violent it was scary. i think the poor maids got beaten up too. the mess they left behind was overwhelmingly disgusting. i swear i'll never have kids after that party. well at least what i think now. it was way dirtier than 3 saturday nights at b&j combined! even the sofas and stuff had stains and trash. and our decor got torn down. it's like a hurricane swept through cathay. if it was possible i'd force the bratty kids to clean up their mess. well.. some of them ought to have a good spankin anyway! man i sound mean. but wait till you meet these kinda kids.

i feel bad for the nice well behaved ones who got bullied by the brats. well, at least there's still a tiny bit of hope left for the future of singapore. rude and demanding kids ought to be spanked!

ecrit ||9:56 AM 0 comments